


Gazing at the Stars

by bluedubois



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi - Freeform, M/M, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Minor Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei is a Dork, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi Fluff, YamaYama - Freeform, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a good boyfriend, haikyuu!! - Freeform, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedubois/pseuds/bluedubois
Summary: The Earth sorta tilts and your brain turns to mush, as your face heats up and your heart rattles in your chest when you realize that you are in love. Tsukishima Kei has a revelation, he finally realizes he's in love with his best friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi. But, is it too little, too late?-or-Tsukishima goes stargazing.Those stars are Yamaguchi.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima starts noticing Yamaguchi  
> -and-  
> Yamaguchi flips his shit on Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Tear in My Heart by Twenty One Pilots.

“Oi, you almost forgot your book!” Akiteru shouts from another room as I open the front door. I huff and slowly shut the door, and turn to find him standing in the doorway across from me with my math book in his hands. Thinking back, I left it on the counter last night…  
“Have a good day, Kei.” Akiteru tells me as he hands me back my book, and I look into the face that I mirror and grunt before walking out of the house. The door doesn’t shut behind me, and I can feel my brother’s eyes staring into my back. I roll my eyes and continue walking towards the school, mentally preparing myself for morning practices with the idiots that surround me.  
Well, maybe they are not all idiots.  
Daichi and Suga are respectable, and Asahi is just a big pile of fluff (which is my only complaint with that big guy, how can you act like a teddy bear? Yuck) but Noya is too rowdy, Tanaka too violent, Ennoshita motherly, Kinoshita and Narita too awkward and passive, the King is well, the King, and Hinata is just a ball of energy. The name suits that annoying kid.  
But, then my mind wanders to Yamaguchi.  
That green-haired freckled bozo that is always behind me.  
The awkward, insecure, soft child that seems to always be there.  
Yamaguchi Tadashi, the bullied boy that I have found the need to protect.  
The only kid that I don’t seem to want to punch in the face.  
I click my tongue and run my hands through my hair. Why do I not want to punch Yamaguchi? What makes him any special to me? Sure, I want to protect him, but weak people like him need protected. Even years after I first stuck up for him, he is still similar to the timid kid I remember.  
I have a problem. Because, every time I find myself with time to think, even if only for a minute, my mind wanders off to the stars that are Yamaguchi. The beautiful skin that I find myself wanting to trace stars out using his freckles.  
I shake my head and wipe my hands on my pants.  
I’m not going to lie, from the moment I meant him, I haven’t been able to get at least part of him out of my mind. I have perpetually heard the whimpering of when he was getting bullied. He sounded like a wounded pup, and that sound stayed with me all these years. But now, he is different. He is stronger, in many ways. I don’t know if I brought him back up from the dust or if he has just grown into himself, but he has his own strength.  
Strength that I admire.  
There is too much to admire about him.  
The loyalty he has to not only me, but to the entire team.  
The effort he puts forth, even though he will never be number one. There will always be someone there to beat him, and he knows it, yet he still pushes on.  
The words he’s reserved just for my ears, he makes me feel special in a way.  
His brown eyes that I avoid looking into, because I don’t care who you are, it seems he can pull anyone in just by the look in his eyes.  
That green-black hair, that I have never seen before. It is perfect, and I just want to pet it. To ruffle it. To pull at it.  
And my favorite thing about Yamaguchi, his freckles. I know he hates them; he has told me so before. He sees them as his main flaw, he sees them as just spots. But, I see them as beauty marks. Many beauty marks. They cover his body, and he isn’t just that average guy you see. And, they are like the stars in the sky, and I want to draw every constellation on that smooth skin with his beautiful freckles.  
“Tsukki!” A voice breaks me out of thought, and when brown meets brown, I feel my face heat up. Immediately, I cast my gaze downwards. If only he knew what I was thinking. “Surprised to see me? We always meet up here!”  
His excited voice is also the cutest thing.  
“What’s wrong, Tsukki?” His voice cuts in again, and I just glance at my watch.  
“Nothing, Yamaguchi.” I respond simply, and he sighs.  
“Sorry, Tsukki.”  
We continue our walk together towards the school, and I find myself peering at him out of the corner of my eye. Even as I shut him down, he has this radiant look on his face, and he doesn’t seem like he feels shut down. God, I don’t need another reason to admire him.  
“Tsukki? Who do you think will be captain when Daichi goes?” Yamaguchi asks out of the blue. I look over at him with my head tilted and he continues staring ahead.  
“Err, why?” I asked, not used to this kind of conversation. Plus, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.  
“I was just thinking, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi says quickly, “Sorry.”  
We continue walking on in silence. I know I am cold towards him, but it’s hard not to be when all I can think about is wrapping my hand around his, and intertwining his thin fingers with mine. I blush again at the thought and tuck my hand in my pocket, avoiding my hand to move on its own accord.  
“I think it will be Ennoshita.” I respond, moments later. Yamaguchi’s head snaps in my direction, his brown eyes wide and twinkling. He seemed so excited to get an answer.  
“I was thinking the same! Sure, Tanaka is good, but I think he’s too… angry, to be captain. And Kinoshita and Narita are too quiet, so that leaves Ennoshita! I think he’s pretty good too and seems to know what he is talking about. I wish Noya could be captain, but seeing as he’s libero…” Yamaguchi goes off on a tangent defending why he thinks Ennoshita would be the best captain. It was kind of adorable…  
I cough suddenly trying to clear my thoughts. Then, I notice Yamaguchi stop and face me.  
“Are you alright?” He asks, stepping closer. Into my personal space. I flinch and turn to him.  
“I’m fine.” I snap, probably too harshly. He doesn’t seem offended, though. He brings his hand up slowly and places the back of his hand against my forehead tenderly, feeling for a fever and I can’t help the blush.  
“Are you sure? You don’t have a fever, but you are too red. And that cough…” He trails off and I try to erase the feeling of his hand on my forehead after he removes it.  
“I said I’m alright. Let’s go or we’ll be late.” I tell him and we rush off towards the gym for morning practice.  
We are walking towards the building, and the door to the gym is wide open. When we were about twenty feet away, I hear yelling.  
“Hinata-boke! Why can’t you spike this morning!” The King speaks, or more like, shouts. Stomping is heard, and I slow down my pace towards the gym.  
“Sorry, Bakageyama, your sets are just a little too off this morning!” The ball of light shouts back.  
“Oh, you’re asking for it now!” The King shouts, and I hear scuffling, and something hit the floor hard. “Stop fighting me!”  
“What, the King can’t take a little fight?” Hinata counters, and I stop dead in my tracks before the door, bring up my leg to step in, and turn around to run off. I refuse to go in and have the first thing I deal with be the King and his little boyfriend fighting each other. Especially after the whole ‘King’ comment Hinata made. Fuck this.  
I only get about a step away before I feel my shirt begin choking me in the front, and I notice that a fist had grabbed ahold of my shirt in a knot in the back. I stumble slightly, but turn around and glare at my childhood friend.  
“You are not running away, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi snaps, and I narrow my eyes and click my tongue.  
“I don’t want to go in there to watch the King yell at his peasants.” I say back, and Yamaguchi’s literally rolls his eyes.  
I think my heart just stopped.  
“Tsukki, you are going to go in there and get ready for practice.” Yamaguchi deadpans, and I shake from his grip.  
“Tch.” I pause and glance at Yamaguchi. “Tch.”  
We walk into the gym to see Hinata on Kageyama’s back and Kageyama was preparing to throw the runt off him. The said runt immediately gets thrown to the ground as Kageyama swings full-force, and Hinata is just lying on the floor rubbing his head.  
“Ow,” I hear Hinata’s soft voice say while he tries to sit up, rubbing his head.  
“Hey! You guys knock it off!” Suga yells, running towards the scene and pushing Kageyama back.  
“He fucking started it!” Kageyama screamed out trying to move around Suga.  
“And I’m ending it now go warm up.” Suga demanded, turning Kageyama away from Hinata and shoving him. Kageyama stumbles forward and walked off, mumbling to himself as his aura burns. This is why I like Suga, he can even control the King.  
“What the hell is their problem?” Yamaguchi mumbles, and I just throw him a glance.  
We go sit our things down against the wall and I watch as Suga kneels next to Hinata carefully.  
“Are you alright, Hinata?” He says, barely above a whisper. “Did you hit your head too hard?”  
“It hurts a little, I’ll be alright.” Hinata answers rubbing his head. Suga moves his hand away and looks at his head carefully, inspecting for any serious damage. I then watch as he does checks to ensure Hinata doesn’t have any head injury.  
That is going to be Yama.  
I shake my head at the unwanted thought and take a sip of my water. I turn to talk to Yamaguchi, only to see the space is now empty, and look around until I see him walking towards Kageyama. I watch with real curiosity, now.  
Yamaguchi stomps towards Kageyama and grabs his shirt in his fist.  
“What is your problem today, Kageyama?” Yamaguchi asks angrily, and Kageyama’s eyes shoot wide open in surprise. He glances at Yamaguchi, but I don’t see the anger he had with Hinata.  
“Oi, l-let go of me.” Kageyama stutters out, and Yamaguchi takes his arm back a little only to slam him against the wall.  
“The only way that we are going to work as a team is if you become a team player. No fighting. No yelling. Only teamwork. Got it?” Yamaguchi grumbles out angrily, and I want to start a slow clap. Kageyama is speechless and Yamaguchi glares down at him.  
“Hinata wasn’t hitting my spikes, so I wanted to-“  
“I don’t care what you wanted to do. A real team player would have found a way to encourage or work with the person, not throw them so hard on the ground that Suga is checking him for a head injury. Is that what you want? For your freak quick to be ruined because you injured the one who could handle your tosses? Because that’s what would happen!” Yamaguchi screams, and I am immediately thrown back in time to when he yelled at me for not trying hard. For not caring. “I won’t stand around and let you rip apart the team, now, I will repeat. Got it?”  
Sassy Yamaguchi is hot.  
What?  
“O-oi. I’m sorry.” Kageyama says, out of breath and in shock. Yamaguchi pushes off him a little and turns to walk away.  
“Don’t make me do this again, Kageyama.” Yamaguchi mumbles and walks off, and Kageyama doesn’t move from his place. Not only did Yamaguchi put him in his place, but I’m pretty sure that he just threatened him. I immediately start cracking up, looking from the King’s look of pure shock to Yamaguchi’s pissed off expression.  
“Holy shit, King! You’ve been put in your place! How does it feel to be knocked on your ass?” I shout, still laughing. Kageyama’s eyes flash to mine, and I see slight rage for a moment, and a glare from Yama, before Kageyama’s eyes flash to normal.  
And, he just walks away.  
That is not normal, he always is up for a fight.  
I blink, surprised that he actually listened to Yamaguchi. I blink again, flashing my gaze towards Yamaguchi.  
“Alright, now that that drama is over, let’s start.” Daichi demands, and we all get ready to practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama calls Yamaguchi "Yam's"  
> -and-  
> Yamaguchi asks Tsukishima about Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Doubt by Twenty One Pilots.

It's been about a week since that practice where Yamaguchi put Kageyama in his place, and Kageyama has been... odd. Not only has he not fought once with me, or Hinata, but he is encouraging. When a spike goes well, Kageyama says something nice. When the spike doesn't go well, he might ask what was the problem or, god forbid, claim it as his own fault. The King being nice, it well, pisses me off.

No, I mean sure, it pisses me off that he is suddenly complimenting me, and others, and being nice-ish, but that's not it. He has stuck to Yamaguchi and openly been flirtatious. Like, obviously flirtatious. I don't think Yamaguchi has noticed it that way yet, but it is real.

Like now, for example.

I look up from my water bottle and Yamaguchi is not seated next to me. Nobody is. Yamaguchi is standing about ten feet away, next to Kageyama.

"Oi, Yam's, what are you doing after practice?" Kageyama asks.

He's coming to study with me.

"Oh, I'm just studying, why?" Yamaguchi responds, and I flinch slightly at his words. Or, better yet, lack of words. He didn't mention that he is studying with me.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you'd want to hang at my place or get meat buns or something. Some other night, then." Kageyama responds, and I nearly come unglued from my seat. Even Yamaguchi looks shocked. He looks at Kageyama and I see his genuine smile come out.

"Yeah, that sounds fun, Kag's."

Kag's?

Yams?

What the fuck?

About an hour later, practice is over, and we are all changing. It was a rough practice after that, and I can't say that it's not my fault. I mean, come on, Kageyama and Yamaguchi obviously flirting in front of us all? Disgusting. I wanted to tell them to get a room, but I was already in enough shit with Daichi for how awful I was playing. I couldn't help it; all I saw was red anger the whole practice.

I glance over at the boy changing next to me, whenever his back was turned. Oh, how I wish I could just touch those freckles on his shoulder blades. I flinch and try to free my brain of it's thought.

"I didn't know you had freckles everywhere, Yam's?" King's voice pipes in, and I now notice he somehow moved somewhat between me and Yamaguchi.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Yamaguchi responds, his face turning red. "I don't like them very much, they are just, like, brown speckles on my skin."

Oh, Yamaguchi, your freckles are beautiful.

"Yam's, I think they are perfect." Kageyama responds, and I almost punch him in the face, then realized I was the one too coward to say that his freckles are beautiful.

Yamaguchi's face turns bright red, and I know Kageyama can't see it, only from my angle can I see it. Kageyama smiles, and it wasn't terrifying for once. When Yam's pulls his shirt over his head, he turns to see Kageyama smiling at him and he smiles back.

God dammit, why does he have to smile back?

"Well, have fun studying Yam's." Kageyama says, getting ready to leave, and I notice that it was literally only us three left in there, and after Kageyama left, it was just us.

I slip my shirt on quickly and grab my bag, walking out. I hear Yam's feet quickly shuffling after mine, and I slide my headphones over my ears. I can't talk or ideocracy will come out. I will say either of the following statements:

Yamaguchi, I like you.

-or-

Yamaguchi, Kageyama is an asshole, stay away from him.

And I think either of those statements is equally horrible to say to Yama right now.

I hit play on my music, and begin to calm as a song comes on.

_Scared of my own image_

_Scared of my own immaturity_

_Scared of my own ceiling_

_Scared I'll die of uncertainty_

_Fear might be the death of me_

_Fear leads to anxiety_

_Don't know what's inside of me_

_Don't forget ab-b-b-b-bout me_

_Don't forget ab-b-b-b-bout me_

_Even when I doubt you_

_I'm no good without you, no, no_

I smirk and relax as the lyrics continue. I get lost in the music, especially since it's Twenty-One Pilots. A few songs come on, and I feel a tug on my sleeve.

"Uh, Tsukki, do you still want me to come over to study?" Yama asks me, and I sigh.

"Yeah. Staying for dinner?" I ask, nonchalant. He nods excitedly and we are quickly at my house. Walking in, I shout a quick 'Home!' and head up to my room.

"So, math, we have a test tomorrow." I announce the obvious fact as I put my stuff down. Yamaguchi gets his stuff out of his bag as I place my stuff on my table. We both pull out a chair and sit together, and I notice today more than normal every touch of our shoulders, and every time my hand bumps his when I am pointing at words and numbers on his papers while going over things.

About twenty minutes into studying, Yamaguchi leans back in frustration, obviously already sick of studying. I huff and glare at him.

"What are you doing? We have a test tom-?"

"Can I ask you something?" Yama cuts me off, and I narrow my eyes more. Yamaguchi is not one to interrupt. I nod once, and I feel a bad pit in my stomach.

"What do you think of Kageyama lately?" Yamaguchi asks me and I know I flinched, without meaning to. I glance at Yamaguchi and my heart shakes a bit.

"He's been a team played, but still the dick King he is." I announce, and he huffs.

"Can you ever not add something negative at the end, Tsukki?" He asks, and my eyes widen on their own accord. What's with him?

"Why do you ask?" I retort.

"Oh, I was just wondering. I thought it was good that he has been acting better. That's all." He tells me and I shrug and try my best to get back to the homework we were working on. Eventually, we call it a night, and about ten minutes later, mom calls us down for dinner.

We were sitting at the dinner table, me and Yama on one side, my mom and Akiteru across from me, and my father at the head of the table. We quickly begin eating, in silence.

Until that silence is broken and I really wish it hadn't been.

"So, Yamaguchi, have you found a nice girl yet?" My mother cuts in, and I stiffen and refuse to look up.

Silence surrounds us and I glance quickly to Yamaguchi to see him in a head to toe blush. He glances at me and chokes slightly before looking back to my mother.

"Mom, you shouldn't-"

"No, I haven't Tsukishima-san." Yamaguchi whispers, and it immediately falls silent again. I shrug and look at my mom, and I know she reads the relief on my face because she smirks.

Ugh.

Dinner ends quickly and Yamaguchi leaves. I wish he hadn't because my mind begins reeling. What do I feel for my best friend? Why do I want him to be with me all of the time and why do I get so pissed when Kageyama flirts with him? Everything flusters me lately.

I shower and force myself to bed, before I can continue thinking, or I will be up all night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ° ʖ °)  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima realizes he loves Yamaguchi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Air Catcher by Twenty One Pilots.

I walk into the clubroom and prepare for another day of flirting and annoying teammates. When I walk in, it seems to be just me and Yamaguchi, and I can't figure out why. Where is everyone else?

I don't let that mess me up, though, because how can I complain? I begin sliding off my clothes to change into something I can play in. I can't help but peek at Yamaguchi as he changes, I mean, who is there to catch me? His skin is so beautiful, and the way he moves is just so amazing.

I finally pull on all my clothes and sit down.

Eventually, everyone else will be here and we will start practice.

I look at my phone and begin playing some games.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi pulls me out of my thoughts, and I see him standing there still without his shirt on. He smiles and I melt for a moment before regaining composure.

"Yamaguchi?" I answer, and he chuckles.

"Your mom's question last night was random." He tells me and I chuckle under my breath, glad that he wasn't offended or still bothered by it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," I tell him, rubbing the back of my neck.

"It's fine, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi nearly shouts, chuckling. "I really don't have anyone that I really like."

I sigh in relief and glance up at Yamaguchi. He smiles and I couldn't help myself.

"Thank God." I mumble, and he tilts his head at me, and I see everything turn red, even onto his chest. My eyes widen and I blush with him. "S-sorry."

"You know what, that was a lie. I do have someone I have a crush on. More than a crush, I think I am in love with someone, I love them so much it hurts sometimes. I just don't think it will ever be returned..." Yamaguchi trails off, and I feel my heart shatter. So, he does like someone.

I look away, and Yamaguchi slides over to stand in front of me, leaning against the wall.

"You know, he's tall."

Kageyama.

"He generally has this angry, dark aura."

Kageyama.

"He's funny when you get to know him."

I guess that's Kageyama... when you get to know him... maybe.

"He's also a kind and compassionate guy when he likes you."

Kageyama.

Every word he says hurts me.

"And he is absolutely perfect."

I guess, coming from Yama, Kageyama is perfect...

"He is-"

"You know what Yamaguchi?" I interrupt him and stand up into his personal space. "I won't sit here and listen to this. You know why? I know who you are talking about, and I need to get this off my chest before you go after them, which you should."

He looks startled and I glance into his eyes.

"Yamaguchi."

He doesn't look at me, because I think he is in a bit of shock.

"Tadashi." I say, and his head snaps up to meet mine and I get lost in his eyes like normal.

"Yamaguchi Tadashi, I am so in love with you. I love your smile that you reserve for me. I like how I am the only person in the world who has heard you curse. I love your beautiful freckles that look like constellations on your light, soft skin. I love your laugh. I absolutely admire your hard-work and loyalty. I love that you are only a little shorter than me. I literally love every single fucking thing about you, and I needed you to know that before you go." I say loudly, and smack my hands on the wall on either side of his head, caging him in and whisper, "And one more thing."

I lean in quickly and take his lips into mine. His lips are soft, and full, just like I expected them.

He tastes like strawberries.

I bite back a moan to keep my pride, but kiss him like I will never have the opportunity again.

He kisses back quickly and I take a step closer, molding our bodies together. We fit together like a charm.

I bring my right hand off the wall and softly place it on his cheek, deepening the kiss. I don't dare to open my eyes, though.

Too quickly, I ended it and leaned my forehead against his and finally opened my eyes.

"I just needed you to know how much I loved you before you ran off." I whispered, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice while I look down.

"Tsukki." Yamaguchi says, and I hesitantly glance up. He has a tear sliding down his cheek. "You are an idiot."

I tilt my head and begin to pull away. Ouch?

"Not what I meant." Yamaguchi says quickly, and grabs my shirt and pulls me back. "I was describing who I was in love with. I am in love with YOU, Kei."

My heart thrums loudly in my ears after I heard him call me Kei.

I could listen to that for the rest of my life.

Before I can register, my lips are smashing against his roughly and my hands are around his waist, pulling him to me and not letting any air between us. My right-hand tangles into his greenish-brown hair, and the other holds his cheek.

I lose myself in the feel of his lips against mine. They are too perfect. I can't even function when his lips are pressed against mine.

Soon, I find myself needing more. I trail my kisses from his lips, to his jawline, and the moment my lips meet his neck, he groans out and I feel my knees go weak. Oh my God.

"Kei." He whimpers, and I groan. I can't help it. I kiss down his neck and to his collarbone, where I find myself nibbling. He gasps and grips my hair roughly. "Kei!"

I moan again and pull my lips from his skin just enough to whisper.

"Again." I say, and I can tell he's confused. "Say my name."

"Kei! Kei!" Yamaguchi yells out, and I could feel my heart skipping beats in response to every word.

"Kei!" I kiss his neck roughly and suck, knowing I left a hickey.

"Kei!" He yells out, and he back arches, pushing his body more into mine. I groan, and find myself latching onto his nipple. I can't help it. His hands grip my hair harder and I smile.

Swirling my tongue into his nipple, I can feel how his breath catches at every touch, and I feel myself growing unbelievably hard. I can't help it, but before long, I bite softly on it, and he screams.

"Kei!!!" If he doesn't fucking stop I am going to lose control. "Kei oh my god!"

I feel a shiver move through my spine at his words, and I kiss right underneath his belly-button. His hips buck forward, and I grip them to control him. He squirms, but I successfully pin him. I kiss hard enough to leave a mark, and then lick up his abs, knowing I am leaving a trail of saliva in my path. He screams, but not my name. He just screams.

I feel every bump and ridge of his abs underneath my tongue, and groan out.

"Kei!" He shouts again, and I can't help the warning. My eyes shoot up to meet his, and he's so flustered.

"I swear to God if you don't stop yelling out my name like that..." I trail off and pause. "I am going to fucking lose control."

"Kei," he says, softer. "Who said I want you to keep in control."

That was enough for me to lose it. I stand up and grab his hips quickly, pulling him up and in response, he wraps his legs around me. I smash his back against the wall, maybe too roughly, and he groans.

But it doesn't sound like a painful groan, but one of excitement.

I lean in immediately and kiss him again, this time roughly. I bite his lip roughly, and he gasps, leaving enough space for me to put my tongue in. The moment our tongues meet, my body shivers. I can't help it. He is perfect.

My tongue swirls around, testing every crevice of his mouth, and his moans are driving me crazy. I bite his lip again, and his back arches again, pushing his chest into my face and I immediately attack it again, enjoying the pure muscle.

"Kei!" He screams, and I moan.

"Tadashi."

He shivers in my arms and I smile.

"You like that? When I call you that?" I ask, and he doesn't answer. "Tadashi."

He moans and his lips land on my neck.

"I love you, Kei." Yamaguchi whispers, and I could scream. His lips work magic on my neck, and I feel my knees weakening by the second, so I sit in a chair in the room, keeping him on my lap. He assaults my neck, sucking and kissing and licking, and I feel like I could black out, but I stay conscious to get more of this.

"Tadashi." I whimper out, and his face comes up to mine, and he rests his head on mine and our lips are only centimeters apart. I can feel his hot breath on my face and my heart races. "I love you."

He smiles and kisses me hard and I want to take him. Before I can voice my thoughts, Yamaguchi speak.

"Kei, can we..." He trails off, and that was all I needed to take action. In moments, both of our clothes are on the ground and I am lying him on the floor. He is a moaning mess under me, and I rub my hands up and down his body slowly, appreciating every inch of it. He is absolutely flawless.

"You are beautiful." I whisper and kiss him extremely gently on the lips, and he whimpers. I see tears in the corner of his eyes.

"Will it hurt?" He whispers, and I sigh.

"I don't know Tadashi, but I will do my best." I whisper, and smile at him. "Let's prepare you."

I slide my hand from his cheek to his chest, down his abs, across his hip, and grasp his asscheek. He is too perfect to be real. I slide my hand and find his hole.

"Tadashi." I whisper, "look at me."

He looks at me, and I carefully prepare to put one finger in, when-

I sit up quickly and out of breath. Glancing around my bedroom, I see it is still pitch black outside, and I quickly look at my alarm clock.

3:30 AM.

What. The. Fuck.

That was a dream?

An... erotic dream?

About Tadashi and I?

Oh my God.

I groan and slam back into bed.

I sigh for about two seconds, before I notice the throbbing between my legs. Oh no, God, please, no. My hard on is aching so bad, and it's all because of that dream I had about Yamaguchi.

Then, I can practically hear Yamaguchi calling out my name, and my dick twitches.

"God dammit Tadashi." I mumble out, and slide my shorts off. I'm going to have to take care of this, it literally is painful at this point. I close my eyes, and imagine I am back in my dream, where he is already on me, and riding me. I pretend that he is rubbing his hands across my body, a moaning mess.

"Kei!" He would scream, and I would thrust harder in response. I grip my length and try to finish off, imagining everything I would do to Tadashi. I would grip his hips so hard my nails would dig into his soft, freckled flesh, and all he could do is yell out my name. MY name. I feel everything building up quickly, another thing pointing to how turned on I had already been. I can see the way his eyes light up in the dark as he rides me.

"Kei! I love you!" Tadashi would scream, and that seemed to be enough to throw me over the edge, and I came into my own hand, and immediately went to my bathroom to clean myself. I am disgusted with myself. I had a sex dream about my best friend, and finished off to him screaming my name and telling me he loved me. He was able to invade my dreams, and cause me this. And, I just masturbated to the thought of him riding me. What the fuck?

And then, it hit me.

I am in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi tells Tsukishima something big  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima cries in the shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? All Time Low by Jon Bellion.

I successfully avoided Yamaguchi for over 24 hours. When I woke up, I couldn't sleep. I almost decided against going to school, but then I realized we had that math test, plus Yamaguchi would wonder where I am at, and might come visit, which is worse. So, at the last minute, I got ready and headed to school, and successfully went late enough that Yamaguchi was already there. He was distracted by Kageyama, so other than asking why I was late, I was able to avoid him. Then, we had classes, and I just acted super focused on the lesson and the test. Afternoon practice was the same, and I ended up being out of there before anyone else. I went home and tried to think of anything but Yamaguchi, but it didn't work perfect. The only things that helped were schoolwork, then music... until every song seemed to become about Yamaguchi.

I am a disgusting, love-struck teenager. No.

I went to bed early, and before I knew it, it was the next day, Friday. I knew I wasn't going to get off as easy today, especially after ditching Yamaguchi after practice. When I met up with Yamaguchi at the spot we normally run into each other, I couldn't help but feel guilt.

"Tsukki, where were you yesterday? You ran off before I could say goodbye." Yamaguchi said, worried. I huffed and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I just wanted to get home, I was tired." I tell him, leaving out the whole 'tired of this whole love thing.'

"I ended up going to eat with Kageyama and back to his house." Yamaguchi tells me, and I flinch. I am an idiot, of course he'd find something to do if I ran off. Why wouldn't he? This is all my stupid ass fault. "It was fun."

"Yeah." I respond, trying to distance myself from this conversation. I don't want to know what they did.

"We played some video games and ended up watching this TV show on Netflix. I don't know what it is called, but I think I am going to have to watch it regularly now." Yamaguchi gushed about his evening with Kageyama, and I felt like I wanted to puke. Luckily we were soon at the school, and practice started.

"Tadashi!" Kageyama greeted, and my heart slowed. Did he just-

"Hey, Tobio!" Yamaguchi responded, and I felt my heart stop. They call each other by first names now? I don't even call him by his first name...

They went off talking about their hangout and I was left heartbroken behind.

The day passed by quick, with limited chatting with Yamaguchi, until I remembered that he came over on Friday afternoons, every week, to spend the night. We packed up after practice, and before I knew it, we were in my bedroom. The whole way home, I debated about something that I should do, and was back and forth. But, I decided I needed to do it. I must tell him; I need to be strong like the guy in my dreams.

I dragged the cot he sleeps on into my room and got pillows and blankets for it, for when we decided to go to sleep. We still had time, though. We were watching this comedy in my room and laughing about it. It was really funny, for once.

When it finished, I glanced at Yamaguchi after I finished chuckling, and found him still laughing hard. I just took a few minutes to appreciate his face, and his laugh. He was beautiful and his laugh was music.

"Yamaguchi-"

"Tsukishima-"

We both spoke at the same time, and he chuckled nervously, and I smirked at him.

"Sorry Tsukki, you go first." He tells me and I shook my head.

"No, it's fine Yamaguchi, you go first." I respond, and he shrugs.

"Tsukki," he starts, and by the tone of his voice, I don't think it's going to be good. He is never serious. "I think I am in love with Tobio."

And just like that, my world shattered into a million pieces. Sure, I knew they became friends. I knew they flirted. I could tell by looking at Tobio that he might have a small crush. But, I didn't expect Yamaguchi to tell me that he was in love with him.

I felt everything inside of me shut down, and I felt numb.

"-O-oh." I respond, and he tilts his head but continues.

"I don't know what to do. I didn't know I was even gay, let alone know that I was in love with Tobio. I mean, I just, he used to be a fucking asshole. I got it when you called him King. But, but now he's kind and caring, and is so good to me, specifically. When we hung out yesterday, our hands grazed and I felt my heart spike out of my chest. Tsukki, what do I do?" Yamaguchi rambled off, and with every word, I felt worse.

"I-" I started, but found something better to say. "Why are you asking me?"

"You are my best friend, I thought you might help me." Yamaguchi answers. Ouch... I've been friend-zoned.

"I have no experience with relationships. I don't even know what love is." I tell him, and at this point, I don't think I do. I thought I loved Tadashi, but...

"Tsukki, you have had to love somebody, or at least have a crush." He responds, and I sigh, looking down.

"Yeah, I have." I whisper, closing my eyes for a moment before working myself back up. "I have loved somebody, definitely, but I wasn't lucky enough to be loved back. Or, at least, I wasn't quick enough." I pause, knowing if I say any more, I will give myself away. Before he can speak, I add to it. "Yama, I think you need to tell him as soon as possible. He may feel the same way, he may not, but you won't know if you don't try. Don't let it be too late, Yama."

I feel numb, still, and I stay silent.

"Tsukki!" He shouts. "Really? You mean it? How do I tell him?"

"Like I said, Yama, I failed with telling them, so you will have to figure that one out on your own." I respond, and sigh. "I'm going to shower; I smell from practice."

I get up before he can protest and head to the bathroom. I numbly turn on the shower and slip out of my clothes. I step into my large shower, and before I can do anything else, I sink to the floor.

Yamaguchi doesn't love me.

Yamaguchi is in love with Kageyama.

The moment it hits me, my emotions come rushing in and I crumple up on the floor and let myself cry, something that is foreign to me.

I feel my shoulders shaking as I sob, thinking about how stupid I am. How could Yamaguchi love me?

He even said that Tobio was kind and caring and good to him. I am none of that. I am not nice, to anyone at all. I am not caring. And I am most definitely not good to Yamaguchi. I ignore him. I make nasty comments towards him. I tell him to shut up constantly. I take him for granted. I am nowhere near worthy of Yamaguchi. I will never be worthy of Yamaguchi, because no matter how much I change, I can never make up for the cruelty I have done.

The water beats down on my back, being the only thing keeping me in the present. Everything hurts, and I can't believe how much it hurts. Who knew love could hurt like this?

I lose track of how long I am in there, and soon find myself sitting up to clean myself. I can't stand yet, though. So, I just sit there and clean.

I don't hear the knock on the door, but I do hear it crack open. The person who opened it stepped in, and it shut.

"Oi?" I called out, wondering who would walk in.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi's voice calls out, moving towards the shower. I try to stand, but Yamaguchi is in front of the shower before I can make it. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes." I find myself stuttering, and I get frustrated with myself, because I just know Yamaguchi will pick up on it.

"Tsukki! I am so sorry for making you relive that whole love experience! I didn't know about it and I didn't mean to make you upset!" Yamaguchi shouts out everything and slides the door to the shower open and glances at me. I can't help but sit in shock, surprised that Yamaguchi would ever do such a thing. He blushes but sits on the ground next to me, still wearing clothes.

"Why didn't you tell me about this person? Who was it?" He asked, and I shivered.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Yama." I whisper, my voice hoarse, and I watch him crank up the heat to the shower. He slides closer to me, and I can't seem to care that I am naked. Here he is, comforting me after this. He may not know it's about him, but at least he is here.

"But-I don't know. Have it your way, Tsukki. I'm just, so sorry that it happened. I am even more sorry for bringing it up. Whoever they are, they are lucky to have had your love, Tsukki. You are such a good person, in your own way. You are smart and-and strong, and sweet once you get to know you. And-and uh, they are stupid for not loving you back, because they say that there is nothing better than being loved by someone who hates people, so if you paid attention to someone, they should feel so special and never let you go!" Yamaguchi rants, and wraps his arms around my naked torso, pressing his soaked t-shirt into my back.

If you only knew, Yamaguchi...

"You would make such a great boyfriend to some lucky person, I just can't believe you loved someone and they didn't love you back. I'm sorry Tsukki!" He shouts, and I want to chuckle, but I can't. All I can think is how much I wish he could love me back. I sob quickly, and turn towards him, burying my head into his shoulder. I wish I could have him, but having him here to comfort me is enough right now. It is enough to have him holding me, and telling me that everything will be fine, but I know it won't, especially when we leave the comfort of my hot shower.

He pulls my closer, not onto his lap, but he wraps his legs around me and holds me against him, leaning his head on my body. Having him hold me like this sends fire throughout my body, but the water is there to continuously try to put the fire out, like Yamaguchi's love for Tobio.

I don't know how long we were in there, but I found myself relaxing against him, until he helps me out of the shower and grabs me some pajamas to wear, and he himself has to get a new pair.

He's wearing my pajamas.

I groan, but get over it, remembering that he isn't nor will he ever be mine.

We go to my bedroom and I lie down on the bed, but startle when I feel it creak beside me. I turn my head right and see Yamaguchi sitting on the edge.

"Can I-" he pauses, and I tilt my head. "Can I sleep next to you? What kind of friend would I be if I let you sleep alone when you were sad..."

My eyes widen but I nod slowly and scoot over to make room for him. At least I can enjoy one last night with Yamaguchi....

We relax quickly in each other's presence and I can hear the faint noise of the TV playing some late-night shows. I feel my eyes getting heavy with exhaustion, and right before I fall asleep, I feel a body shift closer to me, and an arm wiggle its way under my head. I open my eyes to see Yamaguchi's shining like stars staring down at me, and I find myself mumbling 'beautiful' under my breath, positive that he didn't hear me. He pulls me closer to him so that my head is resting on his clothed chest, and both his arms wrap around me tightly, and my left leg intertwines with his. Quickly, I fall into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima compares himself to Kageyama and gives up  
> -and-  
> Akiteru helps Kei patch up a hole in the wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Moondust by Jaymes Young.

Yamaguchi leaves the next morning earlier than I would have liked, but he didn't leave without telling me he was going to tell Kageyama today. That brought me back to the harsh reality that I was losing someone I cared so much for.

I sigh and head to my room to think.

I can't believe that I was going to tell him that I love him... How could he ever return those feelings to me? I have so many flaws, while Yamaguchi is flawless.

I am not much to look at. I have fluffy blond hair that stands out. My eyes are a golden-brown color, and are covered with big, black glasses. I don't smile very much. My face is too narrow and my nose too small. I am way too tall, and way too thin. I don't have much for muscles, and I am not all that interesting.

The only things I do in life are play volleyball, go to school, and study. I really don't have hobbies except volleyball, and I don't try that hard in it. It doesn't mean much to me to try. The only reason I try at all is because of Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi has always been there to push me, to make me a better person.

I don't have much for a sense of humor. The only thing I am good at is making fun of people and being sarcastic. I pick at people too much to the point that everyone hates me, and I am so sarcastic that people don't want to be around me. That's as far as my sense of humor goes, and it just makes me a salty dick.

I'm in general not nice, obviously, considering I'm sarcastic and make fun of people. I would rather pick at people than compliment them. I don't tell people they are good. I don't thank people. I only respect those older than me, and there are exceptions, like Tanaka and Noya. I am here for me, it is my world, and people just live in it.

And I am so mean to the one person I do love. Why did I ever treat him so bad in the first place? I knew without knowing that I loved him. I always wanted to protect him, from the moment I met him. I couldn't stand to hear the noise he made when he was bullied and hated seeing him upset ever since. I knew I loved everything about him, so why couldn't I accept that I loved him, as himself. Why did I never accept that I was in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi?

I led him straight into someone else's arms.

Speaking of that 'someone else.' Kageyama is a stark contrast to me.

Kageyama is someone who I would consider very good looking, even though I don't like him. He is tall, and has a great build. He is filled out, with muscles and abs and doesn't look lanky. He has a great skin tone. He has that shortish black hair that seems to lie just perfectly against his head, and those ocean blue eyes that contrast his dark hair perfectly. Eyes that could send daggers and love at the same time. His head isn't disproportionate like mine, and he does smile. Sometimes it looks terrifying, but he smiles genuinely at Yamaguchi and doesn't look bad.

He has changed lately. Sure, he used to be an asshole King, but now, he's different. I've noticed that. He really does compliment the team members when they do good things and is overall nicer and more agreeable. He seems to have completely swapped around, and is better now than ever. He seems lighter too.

Why would anyone pick me over him, ever?

And then there's Yamaguchi... I don't think anyone will ever deserve him. He is an angel straight from above. I have talked a million times about his perfect features, but on top of that, he is just a good person. He can be motherly when it's necessary, but also stern and tough like a father, like he was with Kageyama. He has so many amazing qualities, that make him too good for this Earth.

The only person that could even remotely deserve him is Kageyama. I can see the way he looks at Yama, especially now. He has a different appreciation for him. I think Kageyama really does love him. And, if he loves Yama, and Yama loves Kageyama, then all I want for Yamaguchi is happiness. If anyone deserves happiness, Yamaguchi deserves it.

So, I will bury every ounce of love I have for the speckled boy to give him the world. To give him everything he wants, because he full well deserves it.

I wonder if Yamaguchi's heart jumps when Kageyama touches him? And the other way around? I know that when Yamaguchi touches me, I feel electricity shoot through my whole body, warming me, calming me, and making me love him even more. Like, last night when he was comforting me, it was hard to hurt with the way he touched me. The way he caressed me. I wonder if Kageyama and Yamaguchi have that effect on each other? I sure hope so.

If Yamaguchi is happy, then I am happy.

Not really, but I can pretend to be.

I will give them the space they need, to flourish and love each other.

At about 8 PM, my phone rings, as a call comes across the screen.

Tadashi.

I sigh before picking it up.

"Hello?" I greet, and hold it to my ear, lying in bed.

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi screams happily. "I talked to Tobio earlier, I just left his house." He pauses before telling me. "I told him that I liked him, and he was a blushing, blubbering mess, and told me that he had liked me for a long time! He said it got worse once I yelled at him, and he asked me to be his boyfriend!"

I closed my eyes as I felt a tear stream from my eye. I can't believe this is happening to me.

"That's great, Yama." I respond, trying to avoid my voice cracking.

"I know, thanks Tsukki! I might never have had the courage to do it if you hadn't helped me. You are the best friend I have ever had." He tells me, and I sigh and want to hit something.

"No problem, Tadashi." Problem, indeed. "I'm happy for you."

You know, I can pretend to think that, but actually saying it sent an arrow straight through my chest.

"Tsukki, he walked me home, and he held my hand." Yamaguchi whispered, like it was some secret. "I thought my heart was going to burst, not much could make me happier than I was in that moment. I know that 'GWAH' feeling Hinata is always talking about. I really think I am in love, Tsukki."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to keep quiet.

What do you do when the person you love loves someone else?

"I am so happy, Tsukki. I am so glad you are here for me." He tells me, and I hum in response. Yamaguchi goes on and on about how they hung out, and how he confessed and how amazing he felt. Every word went straight to my heart and the minute I hung up, I put my face into my pillow and screamed. I couldn't help it.

I walk across my bedroom, and begin pacing before I can calm down. Rage overtakes me, I am so mad that I didn't tell him first.

I swing my fist and it hits my wall so hard, I feel my knuckles get cut as it blasts through the wall. Slowly, I remove it from the wall, and see plaster stuck in my cuts and blood gliding down my wrist, down my arms.

"Kei!" My mother shouts from downstairs, and I immediately called out.

"Sorry mom! My lamp fell! I'm fine!" I shouted, not wanted her to come up and see the hole in my wall. Sighing, I walk towards my bathroom, but am caught in the middle of my bedroom when the door swings open.

"Kei, I know that wasn't a lamp." Akiteru says softly, glancing at me, and when he sees my fist, he glances at the wall that separated our rooms. "I heard your fist smack my wall."

He walks forward quickly, and I refuse to look into his eyes. He carefully grabs my hand and inspects it.

"Kei, this is bad. Let's clean it." He tells me and walks to the bathroom. He pushes me to sit on the toilet and grabs the first aid kit and a washcloth. "What's the problem?"

I keep my mouth shut as he approaches me, and kneels.

"Kei. What made you do this?" Akiteru responds. I sigh, and turn away.

"I-I can't." I respond, and he nods softly, grabbing my hand. He takes the wet washcloth and begins wiping down my knuckles, then my hands, being extra careful to clean out the plaster. It hurts a whole lot, but I would never show it. He cleans onto the back of my hands, and I can see I got a lot of skin pulled back and such.

"You know you can talk to me, right? I know I haven't been the best brother in the past, and I think you know how sorry I am. But, I am here. Whatever made you do this, you can tell me, alright?" Akiteru asks as I see him opening a bottle of antiseptic. I nod once and he begins applying it to every small cut on my hand.

I close my eyes as he continues working on it, and just feel the constant ache of my heart. Who knew Yamaguchi could affect me like this?

Akiteru goes to the sink and washes his hands, and grabs this big wrap.

"We are going to have to wrap your whole hand. Literally, your whole hand is destroyed, and we might as well just wrap it all. How will you play?" Akiteru asks.

"It won't stop me from playing, trust me. Plus, I don't have anything except practice this week, so I will make up an excuse and they will let me practice lightly." I tell Akiteru, and he nods slowly.

"I have some knowledge about fixing holes in plaster from dad, I'll be right back." Akiteru whispers, and a good minute after he is gone, I stand up slowly, and look in the mirror. My face is red and puffy and my hand is bandaged from fingers to wrist. I am a fucking mess.

I bring my fingers to my cheeks, leaning over the counter and touch my face.

Nothing special.

Akiteru walks in just then and looks sympathetic. I click my tongue and walk out.

"I grabbed the repair kit and I have the paint that we used to paint your room, I can fix it. Help me?" He asks, and I nod carefully, seeing as I am the one that did this. "It will take a little bit for the plaster repair to set, but once we get the paint on it, it will be as good as new."

"I didn't mean to do it." I tell him, and he sighs.

"I know."

That was it for the discussion as I helped him patch up the hole in my bedroom wall. Once we finish, he puts on a TV show that we both enjoy, and I sit on my bed while Akiteru curls onto the bubble chair in my room to watch it. I get lost in time until an hour later, when Akiteru breaks the silence.

"We should be able to paint over it now." He announces, and before long, the wall looks new, minus the fact that the paint was still wet and smells. I sigh and see that it is almost midnight.

"Sorry I kept you up, go to bed." I tell him, and he smiles.

"No problem, just, don't forget what I said, okay?" He tells me, and I nod, and fall onto my bed to go directly to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima wakes up screaming  
> -and-  
> Akiteru and Kei have a late night heart-to-heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Polarize by Twenty One Pilots.

I wake up in a panic, screaming. I quickly realize that I am safe, and shut up before I wake anyone up. Another nightmare.

Literally, I haven't slept at all, and here I am waking up for a third time with a nightmare.

4 AM.

I groan and get out of my bed, on a mission. A mission I didn't want to go on, but I needed it. I slide on my t-shirt and open my bedroom door, shutting it quietly behind me. I take a few steps, and knock softly on the door in front of me.

After some shuffling, the door cracks open, and one look into Akiteru's eyes and I feel tears fall from my eyes.

He grabs my shoulders and pulls me into his bedroom, shutting the door.

"What is it, Kei?" He asks carefully, and I feel my shoulders shaking. "Kei."

Akiteru's hand on my shoulder startles me and I glance up at him, and once he sees my face, he pulls me into a hug. My face is crushed against his chest as I sob.

"I-" I start, choking. "Have you ever been in love?"

Akiteru freezes for a moment before regaining composure. He walks across the room and sits on the bed, pulling me next to him.

"Of course I have, more than once. Why?" Akiteru asks, and I sigh. Whatever is making me tell him needs to stop.

"You see-where do I start..."

"The beginning is the best." Akiteru tells me and I sigh, preparing for embarrassment.

"I, you see... I had this person in my life. Sure, they would piss me off, but I sincerely cared about them. Then, I found myself caring about them, more than usual. Thinking about them more than usual. I couldn't stop thinking about them. I couldn't figure it out. They were constantly on my mind, and I couldn't get every detail of them out of my mind, from his amazing personality to his freckles and-shit. Fuck." I found myself literally hinting directly at who it was.

"Is this about Yamaguchi, Kei?" Akiteru asks, and I nod slowly.

"Then, uhm, week after week, it got worse. Then I had a... uhm, fuck..." I trail off, and Akiteru nods encouragingly at me, and I sigh. "I had a dream about Yamaguchi." I pause, and Akiteru lifts his eyebrow at me. "It was... a bit more on the... erotic side..."

Akiteru starts chuckling.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny! Do you know how awkward that is?" I pause and chuckle softly. "Imagine me having to go see him the next morning at practice and school..."

He laughed again, and I sighed.

"This doesn't end well, Aki..."

He instantly stops laughing.

"Recently, as I was figuring this out, Yamaguchi changed. He became bolder. A week or two ago, we went to practice, and when we walked in, two of the guys were fighting, Kageyama being the aggressor. Kageyama threw Hinata to the floor and Yamaguchi tore him a new one, which was great. But, Kageyama straightened up, and from then on, Kageyama started flirting with Yamaguchi nonstop, and I watched as it progressed, and I did nothing. Not a fucking thing. I let it all happen, because I am a complete idiot. Then, Yamaguchi started asking me about Kageyama." I pause because I can feel tears again.

"I realized around then that I was in love with Tadashi. You know, it was actually the night I had that... uh, dream. I was going to tell him, I really was. I worked up the courage and when I went to talk to him, he wanted to talk too. About love. But, about his love for Kageyama. He fell in love with Kageyama, Aki." I mumble, tears falling out. I curl my long legs up and hug them to my body. My body begins shaking and my brother's arms were instantly around me, comforting.

"Kei, what did you say?" Aki asks, and I finally calm enough to tell him.

"Aki, I want him to be happy, even if I am not his happy. So, I just put on a big dumb smile and told him to go for it. If I can't be the one to make that angelic boy happy, then I want someone else to make him shine. As long as he's happy..." I pause again, and sigh. "Then, he asked me for advice, and when I made the mistake of asking him why me, he said that I must have been in love before. Guess what I said, Aki?"

He just tilted his head and patted my arm.

"I told him I was in love once, and I failed to make a move and someone swept in and stole my love. He didn't get it, and I was relieved. But, at the same time, it hurt so much, Aki. He kept saying that the person I loved was an idiot and that anyone would be lucky to have me love them and kept being positive, not knowing I was directly referencing him, and it just hurts so much Aki!" I sob, and he sighs.

"I know, baby brother, it will get better." Aki tells me, and I sigh.

"I didn't tell you the best part. Why I broke the wall. I got a call right before from Yama and he said... He said that he confessed... and Kageyama loves him too and Yamaguchi just sat there and told me how the whole night went and how great it was and how happy he is and indirectly rubbed it in my face. I couldn't take it anymore and next thing I know, I'm pulling my fist out of the wall and blood is flooding out." I tell him.

"Kei, I am so sorry." Aki whispers. "I know you loved him. Hell, mom and I knew for years that you guys had something. Neither of you knew it, either. I honestly was waiting for it to happen, I didn't expect it to turn out like this..."

"Yamaguchi loves Kageyama, Aki..." I whisper, sadly, tears streaming down my face. He wipes off my tears and hugs me again.

"I wish I could say that they are horrible, and that they don't deserve you, but I can't. You guys deserve each other, Kei. Everything you guys have ever done has been for each other, from the small glances to the protection of each other. It's interesting that when you say, 'shut up Yamaguchi,' there is no malice, and it's your own way of affection with him, and his not-actually-sorry 'sorry Tsuki' is his way of showing the affection back. I don't know what is going to happen, but I think things will turn out okay. Have you thought about telling him?" Akiteru asks me, and I flinch, and he holds me at arm's length.

"I can't do that, not after what's going on between him and Kageyama. What would he think of me if I did that? Like, 'hey Yama, I was talking about the fact that I love you, although you love Kageyama. Don't worry about it though.' Do you know how uncomfortable that is?" I huffed out, glancing at Akiteru out of the corner of my eye. He sighs.

"Just think about it. You can't assume what he is thinking or what he will do, you can only try and see what happens. It's unfair to Yamaguchi to base your actions on what you think he would do, instead of testing for yourself. Just, give it a few days, and see where it goes?" Aki responds, and I sigh.

After a few moments of shivering and thinking in silence, I glance at my brother again.

"You're alright, Akiteru." I whisper, and I literally feel everything in the room drop. The gravity even seems heavier.

Akiteru recovers and glances at me, tears in his eyes.

"Kei," he whispers, voice wavering, "you don't know how long I was waiting for this."

I chuckled softly and turned my head to look at him.

"I'm sorry." I tell him, not sure of what else to say. I am not a man of words, fucking obviously, and I am surprised I was able to talk about Tadashi as much as I did. I guess that's what happens when you love someone.

Akiteru chokes softly, then pulls me into a hug.

"I love you, Kei." My brother whispers, and I hug back equally.

"Thank you, for the, uh, support." I respond, and pull away. "So, about this love thing with you..."

I trailed off, kind of curious to who he likes. His entire face turns red and his ears tinge pink at the tips.

"Uh-" He cuts off, clearing his throat. "What about it? I had a few crushes, dated a bit, I don't know."

"Who do you like now?" I ask, and he sighs. I know there is someone, he wouldn't react like this if he didn't.

"Well, I liked this girl back in school, but she was way out of my league, you know?" He paused, and wrung his hands nervously. "I dated around, and kept finding myself thinking about her. We started talking a few months back, exchanged numbers, and we're kind of, eh, talking right now. Don't tell anyone, because we aren't ready to tell anyone yet, but we are dating. I am dating the girl of my dreams Kei."

I chuckled, happy with my brother finding love. One question remains.

"Who is it, Aki?" I ask, and he rolls his eyes.

"You just have to catch everything, don't you, even at 5 AM?" He responds, and my eyes bulge, realizing it is in fact 5 already. "Fine. I started talking to her again at your volleyball matches. You know Saeko?" He paused again and I tilted my head. "Let me try again, Tanaka Saeko?"

I choke on my own spit as I look at him.

"Holy shit you are fucking my Senpai's sister?" I ask, and it was his turn to choke. "Like, oh my god." I cover my face, hiding the flush. "At least she's hot?"

Akiteru chuckles and places his hands on my shoulders.

"I am not fuck- no, I guess I can't say that, but shhh." He pauses. "She is fucking perfect, isn't she?"

I smack him on the back and stand up.

"Welp, now that I know you not only have a sex life, but you are also screwing Tanaka's sister, and that you know that I am gay for Tadashi, I'm going to go to bed. Or stab myself. I don't know which yet." I tell Akiteru, and he chuckles. I walk out of the room and to my bed, falling asleep until my alarm wakes me up for school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima regrets going to school  
> -and-  
> Karasuno decides to call their relationship Yamayama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Trapdoor by Twenty One Pilots.

I really regret going to school, I definitely should have used a sick day. I watched Kageyama and Yamaguchi practically mouth-fucking each other, they came out to the team (which they in turn came up with the couple name, Yamayama), and I had to deal with the Hinata following me around talking about them. I don't even know where to start.

I walked into practice this morning to be the first one there. How that happened? I don't know. Or, I guess I should say, I THOUGHT I was the first person. Apparently two people beat me, and were hooking up in the club room. I walked to the gym door and found it closed, and I figured, maybe the club room is unlocked and I can sit in there until someone comes to unlock the door. It was chilly outside. So, I walked my grumpy ass to the club room and sure as hell, the door was unlocked. I walked in and there was only one light on, and it was just a small lamp. Walking into it, I shut the door and sat my stuff down, and look around.

Two tall figures stood, pressed against the lockers, faces locked. I assumed it was Suga and Daichi, because, I mean, they might not be open about their relationship, but come the fuck on, it is blatantly obvious that they are a thing. I chuckled to myself and was going to say something until I realized I wasn't seeing black hair and silver hair, but black hair and green hair. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped; I couldn't look away, I was stunned.

Getting a better look while staring, I felt nauseous.

Kageyama had Yamaguchi pinned against the locker, Kageyama's hands gripping Yamaguchi's hands at his sides. Kageyama had his knee shoved between his thighs, and both were red as tomatoes. When I first saw them, there were smoother, lighter kisses being exchanged. But no, of course it wouldn't stay that way. One of them began kissing harder, bruisingly harder.

That's when the sounds started.

Lips smacking lips, moisture obvious between the two. A few seconds in, and one of them started moaning. I don't know which, but one was softly moaning deeply while the other was panting.

And just to send me a big 'Fuck You Kei!' from the God's, I saw the tongue-twister starting. Kageyama took control and began exploring Yamaguchi's mouth, and Yamaguchi's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his hands escaped Kageyama's grasp and entwined into Kageyama's hair. Kageyama gripped Yamaguchi's hips painfully hard, but neither seemed to care over the bliss both were obviously feeling.

I wanted to run, but I was frozen, as my world burst at its seams and crumbled.

Yamaguchi's eyes rolled again, but somehow his gaze caught mine. For about a split second, he didn't seem to care, then it hit him that I saw all of that. He gasped and literally jumped away from Kageyama. I don't know how he did it, but he managed, even with Kageyama's killer grip on his hips.

Now, before you think I am some pervert who couldn't stop watching the two make-out, it only was a probably 30 second span, it just escalated quickly and seemed to last way longer. Kageyama stared at Yamaguchi confused and Yamaguchi stared at me mortified. I sighed and grabbed my bag, walking out and slamming the door to the club room and feeling tears come up.

I thought about Aki's words from this morning.

"It's interesting that when you say, 'shut up Yamaguchi,' there is no malice, and it's your own way of affection with him, and his not-actually-sorry 'sorry Tsuki' is his way of showing the affection back. I don't know what is going to happen, but I think things will turn out okay. Have you thought about telling him?"

He said it with such conviction, but I realize just then how wrong it was. Yeah, my words have always been said with an underlying affection, but I don't think Yamaguchi saw it that way, and he didn't return the affection. No way. How could he like someone who was such a dick to him? He was also wrong saying things will turn out okay, nothing is okay anymore. Yamaguchi is dating someone who isn't me, and they were just making out. And to tell him? No way in hell am I telling Tadashi that I love him. Nothing good will come out of it.

The ache in my chest fills, and I find myself standing at the door. I didn't notice Suga standing there, but apparently, he was.

"Tsukishima?" Suga says, and I startle, staring into his eyes.

"H-huh?" I ask, and Suga shakes his head. Once he opens the clubroom door, he pulls me in and shuts it.

"What is bothering you, Tsukishima?" He asks, and I shiver unwillingly.

"It's nothing Sugawara-san. You need not worry about me." I respond, and he rolls his eyes.

"Don't lie to me. For someone who is generally just salty, you are radiating anger and pain like..." he pauses, "like Kageyama. Why is that?"

I unwillingly flinch, again, at the mention of my enemy.

"Suga, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong." I tell him, and he lifts his silvery eyebrow at me.

"I will figure this out, Tsukishima. I know you won't admit it, but I will figure it out on my own." Suga states, and I huff and walk away.

About 10 minutes later, everyone in the volleyball club are in the gym, ready for practice, but not before Yamaguchi taps Daichi on the shoulder, who in turn, has everyone gather.

"Alright, give Yamaguchi attention, he has something to say." Daichi announces, giving the attention to Yamaguchi who immediately flushes.

Shit.

Shit.

No.

"Uh, so-err..." Yamaguchi starts nervously, fiddling with his long, soft fingers. "I uh-"

Kageyama steps up from beside Yamaguchi and grabs his hand.

"We're dating, you know it won't affect the club, but we figured you all should know." Kageyama said simply, and everyone just stared in shock.

And again, my heart broke, over and over again. After a few seconds of the pain of Kageyama talking about them dating, everyone began freaking out talking about how cute they are, and I found myself wanting to walk away and disappear. I look around, and find myself locking eyes with Suga.

And Suga has the determined, triumphant mom look on his face.

I sigh, shakily, and tilt my head down. Now that 'Mother' knows, there is no point in trying to hide it from him. He knows.

I see him nod his head, only slightly, and blinking, letting me know all in that one movement that he now understands and that he is there for me if I need it.

I look down even more and grab a drink of water.

"Tsukki! Aren't you happy for them?" A yellow ball of light screeches, following me to grab my water. I try not to punch him.

"One-don't call me that, Shrimpy, and two-I already knew." I told him, and see him standing there with his head tilted.

"How did you know." He paused before a 'realization' came. "Oh my god, are you psycho?"

"I think the term you are looking for is psychic. And no, you fucking idiot, a fairy came to me in my sleep and told me!" I tell him, feigning excitement. He jumps up and down screaming excitedly, and skips off in the opposite direction. I tune back into the conversation (only partially) and regret it as soon as I hear this conversation.

"What should we call them? Every relationship has a cute little name!" Hinata screams to everyone, who begin chatting away.

Tanaka snorts and puts his hands on his hips.

"We could call them Kageyama?" Tanaka suggests and they all chuckle.

"No, that's dumb because it's still Bakageyama's name!" Hinata shouts.

"Yamakage?" Yachi suggests quietly, and everyone thinks silently before shaking their heads.

"Nah, it's just Kageyama backwards." Hinata replies.

"Kageguchi!" Ennoshita recommends, snapping his fingers.

"Well, that's a mouthful." Asahi says, then looks nervous. "Unless everyone else likes it!"

"Nah-" Hinata starts, but is cut off by Noya.

"Gah! We should call them Yamayama!" He says, and everyone screams 'AWWW' at the same time.

"Yamayama!" Everyone exclaims, and I want to hit them. Every last one of them.

I glare hatefully at the wall until practice starts.

When lunchtime rolled around, I walked to Yamaguchi, preparing for lunch when he looked nervous.

"Uh, sorry Tsukki, but I was going to eat with Tobio today." He tells me, and I feel like he just stabbed me directly in my heart, although I don't show it. I just turn away before he calls out to me. "Tsukki, sorry about earlier too, I didn't know..."

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." I said, and this time I know it wasn't an affectionate sentence, but pure anger. I think Yamaguchi felt it, because he didn't have a single response, even as I walked off to grab lunch, alone.

Or so, I thought.

"Tsukishima! Tsukki! Kei!" An annoying, squeaky voice calls out in the lunchroom, and I took a step to run off before he spoke again. "I see you, don't run."

"What do you want, Hinata?" I groaned out, and turned to give him a sour look.

"You look like you ate a lemon. Stop it." Hinata demands, playfully, and I rolled my eyes. "I ate a lemon once, I almost puked!"

Why is he so excited about nearly puking?

"What did you need, Hinata?" I say, trying to stray from too much conversation.

"Isn't Yamayama cute, Saltyshima? I just love them being together sooooo much!" Hinata shouts, and I nearly punch him. Instead, I carry my lunch tray to a table. Hinata sits across from me. "I mean, come on, look at how they look at each other! It makes me feel all GWAH! Inside and I'm not even involved!"

"I know you don't have any other friends you can sit with, but can you just like..." I finished with waving a dismissive hand in his direction, and he chuckled.

"Shut up, Saltyshima. Our best friends are dating, and you are going to talk to me whether you like it or not! OH! I wonder if we will hang out in a group now? We can invite Yachi and have first year parties! I wonder how long Kageyama has liked Yamaguchi? Or how long Yamaguchi has liked Kageyama? Who asked who out? You know? I want all of the details!" Hinata screams, and I just focus on my food.

"Yamaguchi confessed to Kageyama, Kageyama asked Yamaguchi out. Kageyama has liked Yamaguchi for a long time, and Yamaguchi has liked Kageyama since he began to relax." I told him with a bored tone, and ate my french fries.

Fucking French fries.

I look where I subconsciously laid the squishy french fries at the end of my tray, to my right, where Yamaguchi usually sat and subtly took those squishy french fries to eat. Tadashi loves squishy french fries. I sigh and begin eating the squishy french fries, ignoring how much it hurt.

"Tsukishima!" A voice shouts, breaking me of my thoughts. I blink and turn to see Hinata staring at me. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"Your annoying." I respond simply.

I hate how Yamaguchi Tadashi can break all my thoughts.

I push my glasses up my face gently and try to ignore everything. I just wish it would all stop. This day. This heartache. These thoughts. I just... want to temporarily cease to exist.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi fight  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima becomes void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Say Something by A Great Big World.

"Tsukishima! You can just go fuck yourself if that's how this is going to be!" Yamaguchi shouted in my face.

Oh, confused as to how I got here? Hmm, where to start...

It's been about 3 weeks since they started dating. I've kept my emotions at bay and avoided the 'Yamayama' couple, only hanging with Yamaguchi... and on occasion. Yamaguchi is literally always with Kageyama. That's not what's bothering me, I have been alone, I can do it again. But, it's everything going on with it.

First off... Hinata won't leave me alone. He thinks that since our friends our dating, that we are automatically 'friends.' Uh, I think not. He constantly wants to talk about them.

What started this argument just seemed to be an accumulation of a shit ton of bullshit.

I snapped at Yamaguchi last week. I was hanging at Yamaguchi's house like normal on Friday, and we were going to change for bed. Things were normal, other than for the fact that all he talked about was Kageyama and their dates and crap. He pulled off his t-shirt and I stared in shock.

He had so many marks on his body.

He had purplish-red hickeys covering his chest and back, and some peeking up to his shoulders, close enough to almost be seen. And there were bite marks on other spots that just looked painful.

"Y-Yama..." I stuttered, something I rarely did. He turned and quickly looked my way, before his face turned bright red with the realization.

"Tsukki! I didn't mean to... I mean..." He mumbled, trailing off. I looked into his eyes and still couldn't speak.

"Th-there are s-so many marks, Yama." I whisper, stepping closer. He just stares at me as I approach. "H-how?"

"Do you really want to know how, Tsukki?" He responds, and I step a little closer.

"Y-yeah." I respond. As much as I didn't, I'm worried.

"Yesterday, we were... fooling around... and it got a little intense and he started sucking my skin... I don't know." He sputtered out and I sighed.

"A-and the bite marks?" I ask, worried.

"I don't know, it just... feels good. We got heated and the bites felt good." He answered, and I wished I didn't know. Regardless, I stepped forward again, completely removing the space between us. Both of our shirts are off, but at the moment, I'm ignoring the fact.

I carefully brought my hand up, and touched the big hickey on his shoulder. He shivered, but I figured it was out of being uncomfortable. I controlled my hormones, ignoring the zaps that I felt through my hand, then through my body. I brushed my thumb against it, and his eyes closed.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, and he shook his head no. "How about this?"

I ran my hand down from his shoulder, to his chest, where a bite mark lies. He shivers again.

"N-not really. Only when I play volleyball." He responds and I sigh.

"I don't like that he's leaving these marks on you." Then it hit me. "Wait, you guys have been dating what... 2 weeks? And this is happening?"

"Yeah?" Yamaguchi responds with irritation in his voice. "What's your point?"

"Have you guys..." I trailed off, and Yamaguchi froze.

"N-no? What would make you think that?" He asks, as if he forgot the previous conversation. I literally pushed him slightly so he smacked the wall.

"Are you really going to ask me that? The king left so many marks on your skin, what else can I assume? I can't believe this." I grumble, walking forward so our bodies are all but touching. He looked angry but I won't let this go.

"Tsukki, it's no big deal, other people do it." He answers, frustration clear in his voice.

"I don't care! I don't like seeing you with HIS marks on your skin!" I scream at him, and he tilts his head.

"What?"

"Forget it, Yamaguchi." I respond, pushing off the wall and trying to ignore the feeling of my hand brushing his arm. I sit on the bed, and after a few minutes, everything calms down.

So, that brings us to today, where I don't even know how it got this intense. It was after practice; we were all getting ready to go. I hadn't noticed anything all day, and Yamaguchi seemed fine. But, after sweating, I saw a deep purple mark, but light.

That kid just put makeup over a hickey.

I was instantly pissed. Everyone else was gone, and Kageyama just walked out when I saw it. I made eye contact with Yamaguchi, and he read my mind. I took off after Kageyama and he had only gotten a few yards from the clubroom.

"King!" I scream, and he stops and turns around, angry. "Do you enjoy causing pain to Yamaguchi? Like seeing the marks on his smooth skin?"

"What are you talking about?" Kageyama screams, red faced. I step up to him, and Yamaguchi is caught up. I grab Yama by the arm and pull him close, and lick my thumb before removing the makeup covering the hickey.

"This, I know even you are not that dumb. I saw them last week too, what are you doing to him? Is this relationship purely physical, or do you care? He said that those bite marks you left on him hurt during volleyball, does that make you happy?" I scream, getting in the Kings face.

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi shouts, and I turn my head towards him. "He didn't know they hurt!"

"Tadashi." Kageyama says softly. "I didn't know they hurt."

"I know, because I didn't tell you. Tsukki asked, and I couldn't lie. Just when I play though." Yamaguchi responds softly.

"OH, how cute, discussing how your bite marks from your boyfriend don't hurt unless you play volleyball." I interrupt angrily. They glare at me and I narrow my eyes at Kageyama.

"Why are you so angry anyways, Tsukishima? I left marks on his skin, what's it matter to you?" King grumbles, and I roll my eyes.

I don't even have an answer for that.

"Because it's hurting Yamaguchi, idiot." I snap, and Kageyama steps forward and grabs my t-shirt.

"The only one who seems to be hurting Yamaguchi right now is you." Kageyama says lowly, and when I look at Yamaguchi, he looks so hurt, and tears brim his eyes.

"Yama-" I start, but Yamaguchi interrupts.

"Tobio. Go home, I will see you there." Yamaguchi demands softly, but he doesn't take his eyes off of me. Tobio immediately does as said.

"Are you just going to pretend that this is healthy? You've been with him three weeks and he doesn't even know that his bites are causing you discomfort and your skin is bruised allover? I hate this for you!" I say as calmly as I can at Yamaguchi.

"You don't know anything about relationships, Tsukki. You don't get how you literally constantly crave another's touch, even if it comes down to the simple pleasure of a little pain. You don't get caring for someone. I don't even get how you loved someone in the first place." Yamaguchi threw in my face, and I know I flinched.

"I might not have been involved in many relationships, but that doesn't mean to throw it in my face." I pause. "I wish I didn't have to love someone."

"Of course you don't, Mr. I Don't Have Feelings. You are even hateful for your own brother, because you can't let go!" He shouts, stepping closer. "You don't like anyone. You know what, you're probably jealous of the relationship I have with Kageyama. Wish you could have it for yourself? That's probably it. Or maybe your jealous that I don't spend as much time with you anymore."

"Oh great, throw in the fact that I hated Aki. Sure, I'm a little fucked up, but you can't say I'm jealous of your relationship," I am jealous of Kageyama, "and I am definitely not upset that I don't have you hanging with me as much as you hang with Kageyama! You just don't get it."

"Then make me understand it, Tsukki! The only things I see are jealousy and your dislike for Kageyama! Why can't you be happy for me!" He shouts and I snap.

"Don't try to get inside my head, Tadashi. There are a lot of things that you don't know, and will never know." I say, voice deep and stalking towards him slowly, and he backs away, stopping against the wall. "Just, rest assured, that I don't care to be in a relationship. I don't care about your relationship. I don't care that you don't hang out with me as much. I care about you, and don't want you hurting or to get hurt by the King." I put my hands on either side of his head, and cage him in. "I have only a few things I care about, and you make that narrow list. So don't even think about telling me how I feel, and how my brain works."

"Tsukishima, you are an angry, hateful man, you know that? Why do you hate Kageyama so much, and why are you so hellbent on screwing things up! I didn't want to tell Kageyama that the bite marks were sore because I liked it! Why do you come in and fuck it up like the cannonball you are?" he paused. "You know what, I am sick of this, you will never just be happy for me, will you Tsukki?"

"You hit the nail on the head, Tadashi." I spat angrily, and he leaned forward so that our noses were nearly touching.

"Tsukishima! You can just go fuck yourself if that's how this is going to be!" Yamaguchi shouted in my face. I flinched at his words, and dropped my arms by my side, before turning away and stalking off, defeated. Yamaguchi officially hates me now.

I shake my head, trying to make my head void, to make the pain not come. A few steps away from him, I feel his stare on my back.

"Tsukki..." He mumbles. I keep walking.

"Kei." He says my first name, and if I didn't feel void, I might have felt my heart spike.

But I didn't.

I stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"Just... don't, Yamaguchi." I paused my words before saying. "I won't bother anymore."

I begin walking again, head down. My mind was practically void as my body automatically carried me to my house, where I fell on my bed, still feeling nothing.

Nothing.

Void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mom talks to Tsukishima  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima keeps hearing Yamaguchi's words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? I Don't Wanna Live Forever by ZAYN and Taylor Swift.

I wake up the next day and really don't want to go to school, but I am still hollow. Nothing is working except for automatic systems of my body. I got ready like a robot, like I would on a normal morning, and walked to school. I didn't see Yamaguchi on my way.

I walked into practice, and literally don't think I spoke to anyone.

Practice went by, and I blocked with stiff movements. I don't even know if Kageyama or Yamaguchi were at practice, I just... existed without thinking.

I went to class. I don't know what I did in any of my morning classes. No idea. I'm lucky I even remember going.

For lunch, Hinata sat with me, but he was more of a presence today. He didn't speak all that much, I think he knew I was fucked up.

Broken.

He was there, and it was almost comforting.

Almost.

I went to my afternoon classes, and I do remember one thing from my psychology class. I guess we are going over emotions and the psychology relating to them. Only one point stuck out through that, though. What we call 'heartache' is due to the emotional stress, and it causes stress sensations in our chest of muscle tightening, increased heart rate, and shortness of breath. And, emotional pain and physical pain are in the same brain regions, so they are connected in a way.

When afternoon practice rolled around, I changed and sat down to drink water before, and I felt a presence.

Please don't be Yamaguchi.

Please don't be Kageyama.

Please don't be Hinata.

I want to be alone.

And I turn to look, and it's Suga.

Damn it.

"Tsukishima, we need to talk." He says, and I shake my head no. He shakes his head yes, determined, and pulls me from the ground with more strength than I expected. "We are talking."

He drags me across the room, and out to the clubroom so we can talk in private. Before I leave the gym, I happen to make eye contact with Yamaguchi. He looks in pain, like, a lot of pain.

Why am I feeling so void?

We make it to the club room and Suga pushes me in a chair, and I sigh.

"What, Suga."

"I need to hear this whole story." He states, and I can't help the mouth diarrhea.

"I fell in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tadashi fell in love with Kageyama Tobio, who loved him back. It's a simple story, really." I state, and Suga shakes his head.

"You and I both know there's more. I picked this part up from the beginning." He told me, and I sighed.

"Tadashi and I were hanging out last week, and he had hickeys and bite marks, all over his body, Suga. Literally, purple marks and red teeth marks, covering his chest and back and shoulders. It scared me, but it also made me want to die that Kageyama could leave those marks on him. I snapped yesterday when I saw one on his neck that he covered with makeup and I confronted Kageyama, and after some fighting, Yamaguchi sent Kageyama home. Some very hateful words were exchanged, and Yamaguchi still doesn't get that I am so in love with him, and that this is killing me. He thinks I am jealous of the relationship and basically told me I am a hateful loner. He told me to go fuck myself last night, so I left and didn't look back. Suga, he broke my heart. But, why do I feel void? I don't know what to do anymore..."

"Kei," Suga starts, and I don't get upset he used my name. This is too serious of a talk to go with last names. "I get it. I can't imagine how it feels to have the person you love talking about how in love he is with another. I can't imagine seeing those marks. I can't understand how awful it is. I am sure it is, but I haven't had that. But, you must understand, he doesn't know how much you care about him. Imagine if it was the other way around, wouldn't you be confused? Wouldn't you think he was jealous and lonely?"

I sigh and rub my head.

"And to your next point. I have a secret, Kei. Daichi and I are... seeing each other." He paused and looked at my unshocked face.

"Well, duh, we all figured." I replied.

"Rude, Kei. But, we've been going out since first year, and we had a falling out last year before coming back together. We said some hateful things to each other, fought horribly. He broke my heart, Kei, so bad that I wanted to die. He was so cruel; I was so cruel. I... I walked away. I was the one who just walked away, and I understand. It's like, no emotions can catch up to you and you are left a hollow void, going through your daily routine without direct focus or feeling. You just... exist. Within days Daichi and I came back together, talked civilly, and here we are today." Suga confided in me, and I was surprised. It's like... he described exactly how I feel.

"Koushi, what do I do? I have nothing." I tell him honestly. Suga comes closer and places his arm around my shoulders.

"What you should have done a long time ago." He pauses, and I just stare. "You need to tell him how you really feel! God, do you even listen, Tsukishima Kei? It isn't fair to him, he doesn't understand, so make him understand. Your friendship slash relationship has basically four paths right now. You don't tell him and he doesn't talk to you again, you don't tell him and your friendship doesn't return the way it should even though he forgives you, you do tell him and he doesn't talk to you again, or you tell him and he understands, and you have a friendship or possible relationship with him. Do you understand?"

"I'm scared." I respond, I can't hold back with Mother.

"I know, it's scary to trust someone with your feelings, but you will never know nor will you fix this unless you talk to him. I don't care if it's tonight or next week, you need to fix this. It sounds like you walked away. Did he try to stop you?" Suga asked.

"Uh, yeah, actually. He called my name, and I just kept walking, until he screamed my first name. He's never really called me Kei before, so it stunned me, but I shut him down and walked away..." I mumble.

"See? He obviously didn't want it to end like that, so at least fix things." Suga recommends, "Even if it takes time, fix this."

I nod and genuinely smile at the Angel that is Sugawara Koushi. He gasps and holds his chest.

"Just kidding, I might leave Daichi for you with that smile, Kei, and Yamaguchi will be out of luck!" Suga exclaimed at me, and I softly chuckled.

"Thanks Suga. I appreciate you." I respond, and get up, and walk out of the room. Still feeling numb, but at least having direction, I finished practice and went straight home. I needed to get my shit together before talking to Tadashi.

I quickly did homework, although I am sure most of it is wrong seeing as I was a robot at school today, and showered and laid down.

I know that is a lot of my fault what went down, but there were still a lot of horrible things said.

"I don't even get how you loved someone in the first place!"

I loved you.

"Of course you don't, Mr. I Don't Have Feelings. You are even hateful for your own brother, because you can't let go!"

Yamaguchi, I do have feelings. And my brother and I are fine now.

"You know what, you're probably jealous of the relationship I have with Kageyama. Wish you could have it for yourself? That's probably it. Or maybe your jealous that I don't spend as much time with you anymore."

Your right, I am jealous. But not of your relationship, but because Kageyama has you. Because he can touch your smooth skin and kiss your beautiful lips. Because Kageyama receives your love.

I am not jealous you don't spend time with me, although I wish you could be around me all the time.

"The only things I see are jealousy and your dislike for Kageyama!"

Wrong.

"Tsukishima, you are an angry, hateful man, you know that?"

I'm am angry, not hateful, but angry. And it is because of you.

"Why do you come in and fuck it up like the cannonball you are?"

Am I a cannonball? Do I just fuck things up?

"You will never just be happy for me, will you Tsukki?"

I will be happy, only when you are happy.

"Tsukishima! You can just go fuck yourself if that's how this is going to be!"

Go fuck yourself?

He called me by my full last name, the most disconnected way to call someone. That nearly killed me...

"Tsukki, Kei..."

Why couldn't he call me Kei on a normal basis? Because he cared for me? Because he loved me? Why couldn't he use Kei as a positive, instead of trying to get me to stop walking away?

Why couldn't I say the right words?

What is Yamaguchi thinking right now? What did he do after I left last night? Did he just, get up and go home to see Kageyama, and pretend everything was fine? Or was he really fine? Did he stay there for a while? Did he go to a safe place? Did Kageyama leave more marks on his skin? Did he cry in Kageyama's arms? Did he cry at all? Did he feel void, like I? Did he feel as much pain as I feel, while the numbness fades?

Tears forming in the corners of my eyes, I grab my cell phone and plug my headphones into it.

The first song that popped up, I nearly skipped, for two reasons. Reason one was because Yamaguchi had downloaded it to my phone, and two, because it wasn't exactly my style. Before I can change it, the lyrics start.

_Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call_

_It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all_

_Baby, baby, I feel crazy_

_Up all night, all night and every day_

_Give me something, oh, but you say nothing_

_What is happening to me?_

Groaning, I throw my head back and let it play. The song just pulls at my previously non-existent heart strings. At this point, I feel like this.

_I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain_

_And I don't wanna fit wherever_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

Why can't things be simpler. Hell, I would take it back to before I recognized my feelings if it meant that Tadashi actually cared about me.

_I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind_

_Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life_

_Baby, baby, I feel crazy_

_Up all night, all night and every day_

_I gave you something, but you gave me nothing_

_What is happening to me?_

I have a stray tear slide down my cheek. God, I feel like such a girl, but it's like, I feel like I relate to this song so much. Everything, it hurts. It hurts so much, and now that I'm at this point, feeling everything, I am breaking.

_I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain_

_And I don't wanna fit (fit, babe) wherever (wherever)_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

Tadashi, come back to me.

_I've been looking sad in all the nicest places_

_Baby, baby, I feel crazy_

_I see you around in all these empty faces_

_Up all night, all night and every day_

_I've been looking sad in all the nicest places_

_Give me something, oh, but you say nothing_

_Now I'm in a cab, I tell 'em where your place is_

_What is happening to me?_

I rub my hand over my face trying to wipe away the tears that are sliding down my face. This is too much.

_I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain_

_And I don't wanna fit wherever_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home_

_Until you come back home_

This is going to be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima practices volleyball at the park  
> -and-  
> Has an unexpected visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Hymn For the Weekend by Coldplay.

I wake up, and see that it is extremely bright. Like, holy shit it's bright, and the instant pounding in my head was already too much. I close my eyes tightly and throw the blanket over my head, groaning.

After a few moments of getting the pounding to stop, I glance at the clock and notice that its 12:32.

12:32!

I never sleep in this late. Ever. Last night was rough, sure, and my headache probably didn't help my waking up but damn!

I sat up, and slowly padded across my room to go downstairs. I make my way to the kitchen and grab some medicine for my head, so I can at least be somewhat productive today. I turn around and see Akiteru standing in the doorway, staring at me.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed!" He sang, and walked towards me. I glared at him and he chuckled softly. "Really, what's wrong, Kei?"

Groaning, I slam my glass of water down from taking my pills and glancing at him.

"Tadashi and I had a bad fight and now, I have to find a way to make it right. I didn't sleep well, and now my head feels like it's in a vice." I mumble, and he sighs.

"It seems like you can't catch a break. Just, talk to him? What was the fight?" Aki asks.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I don't want to go over the words again but let's just say we were both hateful and mean." I tell him, shuffling out of the kitchen and heading to get cleaned up for the day.

After getting ready, I notice that the medicine is working, and my head barely hurts anymore. I walk downstairs and notice that it's nice out, and decide to go play some volleyball. Maybe it will clear my head to be alone for a while, and I should practice after how mediocre I was this week.

"I'm headed to the park, be back later!" I announce, and take off out the door with my volleyball and my bag that has water and a towel in it.

The park has a volleyball net, and it's close to the pool that has a building for changing, showering, and such next to it that I can use a wall to practice too. It's nice.

I slide the bag off my back and onto the bench beside the volleyball net and decide to do some tosses against the wall first.

Tossing the ball towards the wall, I wait as it comes towards me to receive it. Sure, it isn't a fast ball or even hard, but it does help practice.

The ball meets my arms and flies back to the wall, bouncing off, and coming back towards me. Now I am going to try to receive and aim it to specific parts of the wall.

Volleying it back and forth, I try to not think of Tadashi.

After about 10 minutes, I get sick of this part and decide to go to the net. I just need to practice some serving. I can always practice my serves.

Standing far from the net, I just stare at it. And the ball in my hands.

Why can't I get Yamaguchi out of my head?

I spin it in my hands and stare back at the net. Alright, this is it.

I toss it into the air, and smack it just at the right time. It soars through the air...

And smacks the net.

Then smacks the ground.

"Fuck." I mumble under my breath, and drag myself forward to retrieve the ball. I make it back to serve, and toss it up into the air again, and smack it, and it flies over the net, but barely. I sigh and run a frustrated hand through my hair.

"Shit." I mumble as I walk under the net and grab the ball again, glad that no kids are around and most people are jogging on the pathway or something, ignoring me.

I grab the ball with one hand, swooping it up and walking back to my place.

"Why can't I do this?" I grumble, and prepare again.

Same results.

"God dammit!" I say, a little louder than normal, super pissed that this is affecting me so much. "What is wrong with me!"

I run back over, grab the ball, run back, and immediately go to serve.

I throw it high into the air, and smack it with all the might and determination that I can muster and it goes flying. It stays in bounds and smacks the ground hard. Like, hard. If I wasn't so frustrated, I would be ecstatic, in my own way of course.

I sit on the ground where I am without retrieving the ball and realize one thing... this isn't just going to go away. I have to fix things with Yamaguchi. I have to, I can't get him off my mind and I sure as hell won't be okay.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I groan out, head in hands, and smack the ground hard with my right hand before throwing my head up towards the sky. And... Instead I am met with brown eyes. "Well, shit."

Those brown eyes are staring down at me, and as much confusion as there is in those eyes, there is also pain, and worry.

His lips are set in a straight line, and I can tell he is trying not to cry, and his hair is just a mess.

We just stare at each other, and there is so much pain in my chest. My heart tightens more, and his lips begin to tremble.

"T-tsukki." He manages to say, and I thank the heavens that the stare down broke. I couldn't speak, still, I was afraid what would come out. And on top of that, I was not prepared for this.

"Kei." He whispers this time, and my eyes squeeze shut.

"T-Tadashi." I find myself whispering, and he instantly moves to sit next to me on the ground. He sits with his legs crossed, and glances at me.

"Kei, I..." He just trails off and I look at him. Tears were in his eyes and I felt my heart break a little more. "I'm so sorry."

I blink once, twice, then tilt my head.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask, confused. As many horrible things he said, I really deserved it.

"I, I shouldn't have said any of it, I was just... so angry. I was so mean to you, Kei, and you never deserved a word of it. I couldn't help it. And to tell you to go fuck yourself? I just... I should have never-"

"Tadashi."

"Said that, you know? Tsukki, I care about you so much, so much more than you know, and I am horrible. To tell you that you were jealous and hateful, and oh God, didn't I bring up Akiteru? That was so uncalled for and-"

"Tadashi."

"I should have never said that. I just, I guess I had wanted to hurt you at the time, and once it hit me that I'd said those things, it hurt, you know? It hurt me that I could hurt you like that. You are my best friend and I just, I should have expected you to be concerned but no, I couldn't handle it and-"

"TADASHI!" I said loudly, and he shut up and blinked at me. "Shut up."

He chuckled softly.

"Sorry, Tsukki."

"No, don't call me that." I respond, and he just blinked again, tilting his head. "Call me Kei."

His face lit up a little before it fell again.

"I still am sor-"

"If you tell me sorry one more time..." I trail off, before talking again. "I should be sorry, Tadashi. I should have never been as angry as I was. It's your business what goes on between you and Kageyama. I should not have said anything to him, especially since he didn't know. There's just, so much you don't understand and I'm trying to protect you and I just..."

I love you.

I should have said it, but I didn't.

"Kei, it's okay, I forgave you already. Yeah, it kind of sucked that you told Kageyama because now he is afraid to even kiss me right now and it was awkward and all, but you are my best friend and if you didn't stick up for me, who would, you know?" He tells me, and my heart somewhat swells.

He is just too perfect.

"Tadashi, I am so sorry I hurt you so much... I can tell by the way you look, I hurt you... I am so sorry." I tell him, the pain coming back full force and I drop my face into my hands, trying to stop the tears. I know I fail, but before I can wipe them away or stop them, Tadashi grabs my hands and literally rips them away from my face with more force than necessary.

"Kei, it's fine – oh my god are you crying?" He asks, and my face heats up.

But what makes it worse is what happens next.

"Kei, please don't cry." He said, after the shock of my tears obviously passed. I felt myself calm a little, but my face is still soaked and he still has a hold on my hands. His hands drop mine, and before I can do anything, his hands are on my cheeks, wiping the tears away. Both hands roam my cheeks, my jawline, and directly under my eyes, everywhere to rid the tears from my face. "Like I said, it was mostly my fault and I forgave you. Please stop."

There was a pause, and I stared into his eyes.

"What don't I understand, Kei?" He whispers, and I feel my heart freeze again. So, he caught when I said that.

"Tadashi..." I mumble, feeling too many nerves to speak the words my heart wants.

I love you.

"Please, make me understand, because it is all too confusing being left in the dark." He whispers, and I notice his hands are still on my cheeks.

"Tadashi, I-" I pause, feeling my lungs constrict. I can't do this. "I can't."

As angry as it should make him, he just blinks and drops his hands from my face, and I miss the feeling of his hands gripping my cheeks.

"It's okay, Kei. Just tell me when you are ready." He whispers, and stands up. At first, I thought he was going to walk away, but instead he held out his hands to help me up. I grab them and feel the spark that jerks every nerve in my body to life, and I feel refreshed. I feel... okay.

"You know, Kei..." He pauses, chuckling. "That was a nice serve you had."

I chuckle under my breath, and I am not sure if it is because I'm glad things seem okay or just from the compliment.

"It was pissing me off that I couldn't serve, so I just, used the rage to take it out on the ball, I guess." I tell him with a shrug.

And then, he jumped at me.

His arms flew around my neck in a tight hold, and I was too stunned for a second. I couldn't respond, and my heart nearly exploded.

He tensed and begin to back away, and I realized I have yet to return the hug.

He can't go, not yet.

"I'm sorry Kei, I just-oomph."

Before he could put a foot in-between us, I grabbed him tightly around the waist and hugged him back, squeezing him nearly to death. My hands were dangerously low on his back in the hug, and I felt every rift of his body pressed into my own, and his erratic heartbeat. After recovering, he hugs me back again, sighing.

I drop my face into his shoulder after a moment, and sigh myself.

It felt so natural in his embrace.

After a little while, we both softly pulled away, and Tadashi grabbed his own arm awkwardly and I saw the blush across his freckled face. I know mine was on fire.

"I'm just, so glad things are back to normal," he whispers with a soft smile, blush still covering his cheeks. My heart is pounding and I just smile at him.

"Come hang out with me at my house?" I ask, and he smiled and nodded feverishly, and I chuckled, but more to myself this time. We began walking as soon as I grabbed my bag and volleyball. Once out of the park, I realized something.

"Why were you at the park?" I asked him, and he sighed.

"I needed to clear my head, you know? Fighting with you, it took a toll on me, and I don't know. I needed to think, somewhere outside of home or with Kageyama or something, I guess." He responds, and I nod once.

From there, we just made small talk while walking to my house, while I thanked the God's for sending Tadashi to the park today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima admits something to Yamaguchi  
> -and-  
> Akiteru takes a picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Till I Fall Asleep by Jayme Dee.

I was sitting on my bed, leaning against the wall while Tadashi was sitting on my comfy cup chair. We were feasting on some of the strawberry shortcake that my mother brought home from the grocery store, and it was nearly silent, except for the clink of out plates and the light sound of the TV in the background. I decide to break the silence.

"By the way, remember when you brought up Aki?" I asked, and Tadashi visibly froze.

"I'm s-" I cut off his apology with on glare, and he chuckled. "Yes."

"Well, we are alright now." I say, but without missing a beat, I hear Tadashi choking.

I look over and he had literally inhaled a piece of his shortcake and was choking, and he smacked his back and before I could even more, he was alright.

Breathing heavy.

But alright.

Oh god, please don't pant like that, I will think of the millions of other ways I can make you pant.

"What do you mean you guys are alright?" Tadashi asked, breaking me out of my impure thoughts.

"I mean what I said, we are alright now. We talked and he gave me some great advice, and I decided he's cool." I pause, cringing because I remember what he said about Saeko, "and I found out some, pretty lame things about him, too."

"That's great, Kei! I'm so glad you guys are finally alright. I've waited years for this!"

"Yeah, that's kind of what he said, too." I respond, and Tadashi chuckles. I smile at him and he just smirks.

"What were you guys talking about that he gave you advice?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Eh, don't worry about it, it was just a late-night conversation anyways. Guess what I found out?" I ask, totally willing to talk about this to keep the conversation going with him.

He simply tilted his head and he looked so adorable. I climb off the bed and leave my empty plate on it, and sit right in front of him with my legs crossed.

"My brother is fucking Tanaka Saeko." I tell him, cringing.

"Kei! Watch your mouth!" He screeches, and covers his own mouth. "Oh my god."

"He's screwing Tanaka's sister, Tadashi." I tell him, chuckling under my breath as face turns red. We stare at each other for a minute before completely losing it – we both begin uncontrollable laughing.

"How did that happen? I mean," he pauses mid-sentence, continuing laughing, "I mean I really don't want to know but like, oh my god."

"I don't know, I guess they ran into each other at the volleyball matches and started... seeing each other." I tell him, then add. "God we learned way too much about each other that night."

I sigh, with a soft chuckle. I tell my brother that I'm gay, he tells me he's with Saeko and he knows I love Tadashi. God, is this all weird.

"What did you tell him about you?" Tadashi asked, ever-so perceptive and persistent. I flinch, should I tell him?

He deserves to know, I mean, he is my best friend.

But what if he thinks it's weird? What if he hates me?

What the fuck, he's gay too.

"I'm gay." I tell Tadashi, shrugging my shoulders, and Tadashi begins choking on the milk he had been drinking. I chuckle and wait for a few moments for him to stop.

He doesn't.

I jump off the bed, grab him and smack him on the back, freaking out.

"Tadashi!" I shout and he coughs softer a few times before glancing at me, tears littering his cheeks.

"Thanks, Kei." He whispers, voice rough. "I don't know why I couldn't breathe."

"It's nothing." I say, and lean against the bed. When I glance at him again, his face is completely red, and so are his ears.

But not from choking.

"Are you..." he pauses, as if thinking about what he is going to say. "Do you really like guys?"

"Is it that hard to believe?" I snap back, trying to keep the harshness out.

"I mean, uh... sorry Kei." He pauses. "I never thought in a million years you'd be like me."

"Well, I have been, for a long time, and I just came to terms with it." I tell him, and he sighs, content.

"So, Kei," he says, and his voice seems to waver, probably because he was just choking. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Am I feeling bold today?

I told him I was sorry.

We made up.

I told him about Aki.

I told him I was gay.

Am I ready for this next step?

Should I tell him I am in love with him? He's the 'lucky guy?'

"I-"

I pause, take a deep breath.

"Nobody specific, Tadashi."

Except you.

"Oh," he sighs, and I am not sure if it was a sad sigh or a content sigh. "Would you tell me if there was?"

This conversation is getting too deep for me.

"Sure, Tadashi." I say, trying to get him off my back. I decide to change route. "Why didn't you go to Kageyama when you were upset?"

He tenses and climbs onto the floor, leaning against the bed, our shoulders touching. I feel a current, pulse through my skin, through my muscles and into my bloodstream, where it then courses throughout my whole body, and I feel warm. I feel comfortable. I feel at home.

I glance at him, trying to keep the blush off of my face, and see he looks hurt. Tadashi is hurting.

"I don't know, Kei. I just..." He pauses, as if thinking of what to say. "I haven't been feeling all that great about our relationship lately, you know? Kageyama is great and all, and we sure do have fun," I nearly barf, "but like, I don't know."

"Of course you know, Tadashi, don't play games and just tell me." I respond, possibly too harsh. I mean, c'mon now, wouldn't you if you found out the love of your life is possibly having relationship problems?

He glances at me, and I see the pure pain in his eyes, and he nods, once, almost imperceptibly.

"You know me too well, Kei." He paused, and I saw a wave of emotion before he speaks again. "It's like, I guess, our relationship is more physical than emotional. You know that Kageyama is a brick in general. Sure, he opens to me more than anyone else, even Hinata, but like, it's not enough. I need someone who can open up to me completely, tell me things, then let me kiss them and make them better again. I try so hard to get him to tell me things, the things that bother him and what makes him happy, but I know I'm not getting everything I need. I feel like all we do is screw around, talk a little, laugh a little, then he tells me how amazing I am and how perfect I am, but like, I don't know him enough to say the same. I can tell him he's beautiful, and smarter than he thinks, but that is the depth of my knowledge about Kageyama. Oh, and by the way, he stopped hurting me completely. It's a completely new world."

I stare in shock at the boy before me. If I wasn't already in love, I would have fallen in love with him.

Maybe I have fallen in love with him all over again.

Time and time, again.

After the rant is over, I bring my hand up, hesitantly, and place it on his cheek.

"Tadashi." I whisper, and he shivers before looking at me fully. "You care about him; you need to talk to him. You aren't the type of person who can handle a purely physical relationship, even I know that. You need to be telling him that you want to slow down, to take a step back and get to know each other. If he loves you, he would do that simple task and change. You guys can't keep secrets like that from each other, just like not telling him that he was hurting you. How can it get better if you don't tell him the problem?"

I hate telling him to go to Kageyama, but I hate even more seeing him hurt.

His eyes cast down, and I have never seen such a beautiful sight. His eyes were still open, but were barely visible. My palm remained on his cheek, and were only partly covering his freckles. The sun was shining through the window at just the right angle to illuminate his face, and make him look like he was glowing.

Maybe he was.

His eyelashes were long, and beautiful, and his hair shone. His freckles were accentuated, just like the slight pout on his lips.

"Beautiful," I find myself whispering, and he jumped slightly. When he glanced back up, I could feel my heart quiver. Tadashi is going to be the death of me.

I drop my hand and turn my attention back forward.

"I don't know if what we have can be fixed, Kei." He tells me, and for a minute, my heart stops. For that slight moment, I thought he was talking about us, then I realize he was referring to Kageyama.

"You don't know if you don't try." I respond, and he gets this determined look on his face before nodding once, and smiling the purest smile I had ever seen.

"Thanks, Kei." He paused, "I'll think about it."

We both lean our heads against my bed, and relax in the silence. That was too much talking for me, and I think Tadashi knows that. I feel drained.

My legs are straight out in front of me, and my arms lie in my lap. My eyes are closed, just resting, but not asleep. My head softly rests against the bed, and I can still feel Tadashi next to me, relaxing himself.

My neck is probably going to hurt tomorrow.

I feel a warmth spread from my hand, up my arm, straight to my heart, and my ears begin ringing.

What the fuck?

After a few moments of calming down, I notice the faint feeling of a hand resting over mine on my leg, softly. I open only one eye to see Tadashi's freckled hand resting over mine, and see him staring down at his hand as if afraid to move. I smirk, and close my eye again. After a moment's hesitation, I move my hand, and I am sure Tadashi was scared. Scared I would be mad. Instead, I grab his hand before he can pull away, and intertwine our fingers, keeping them in my lap.

His skin is softer than I could have ever truly imagined. As I sit there, I feel content. I feel like I could fall asleep.

And fall asleep is exactly what I did.

When I wake up, I only open one eye. Although I have never been in a more uncomfortable position, I still feel like I've never slept better. Then, I notice the asshole standing in front of me covering his mouth with one hand, and tapping my foot with the other.

He puts his finger to his lips and quietly goes, 'shhhh,' then points to my left. I open both eyes and turn to see Tadashi, his legs curled into a ball and his head resting on my shoulder. Where his mouth hits my collarbone, I notice some drool.

I can't find myself to give a fuck.

I then, glance down, and see his right arm has moved underneath my left arm and his left fingers are still intertwined with mine, but his left arm has moved around the front of my left arm and is holding out clasped hands. My heart warms up insanely, and I glance back up at Aki.

He gives me a thumbs up with a gigantic smile, and winks.

I raise my right hand up and use it to flip him off. He chuckles and bends his knees so he's eye level with me.

"Mom told me to come get you guys, she said dinner is ready." He whispers, ever so softly. He glances at Tadashi. "I will leave so you can wake Tadashi up."

With another large smile, he stands up and walks out of the room. I smile to myself, and allow myself a few seconds to enjoy the feeling of holding Tadashi so close. I know I must wake him up, though.

How do you wake an angel?

I bring my right arm across my body and place my right hand on his cheek. Rubbing softly a few times, I whisper.

"Tadashi, wake up."

He flinches, but doesn't wake up.

"Tadashi, my mom has dinner ready." I whisper again, and he stirs more. I tilt his chin up and look down at his sleepy face. "Come on now, you've gotta be starving."

Finally, his eyes flutter open, his eyelashes almost distracting me from his beautiful eyes.

Almost.

His eyes were heavy from sleep, but they were still beautiful as ever.

He stares back into my eyes, and I smile gently. He shivers before averting his gaze, which probably wasn't the best idea. He realizes then that he was clutching my hand with both of his and his head had been leaning against me. He sees how he was curled into my side.

"S-sorry Kei!" He shouts in his voice that is hoarse from sleep, and I nearly groan. God, did his voice always sound this good when he wakes up?

I chuckle and help him untangle our bodies, seeing the way his face is flushed.

"Come on, let's get dinner." I tell him, and he nods once before walking to my door, opening it, and sulking out. I chuckle softly at his demeanor, and follow him.

That is, until my phone bings.

**1 New Message**

I unlock my cell phone, and see it's from Akiteru.

Probably just him telling us to hurry up, or saying something stupid, but I open it anyways.

When I open it, my heart flip flops. It is a picture of the moments that occurred a few minutes before. Tadashi cuddling me the way he was when I woke up, and his lips on my collarbone while he slept. The only difference was that I had been still asleep in this picture. My body was still in the same position, but my head was ducked down low, to where my head was leaning against his and my lips were ghosting his forehead.

For a moment, I bring my hand up and touch my lips, noticing the way they tingled in realization that my lips had been on his forehead.

I stare at the picture for a moment longer before wanting to kill Aki.

**To: Aki (^-^)**

**You took a picture of us sleeping?**

**~Kei**

My phone immediately buzzes.

**From: Aki (^-^)**

**It was adorable. Don't pretend like you don't like it.**

**~AkiTsukishima**

I reply.

**To: Aki (^-^)**

**Fuck off, you dickhead.**

**~Kei**

My phone beeps again as I start to follow Tadashi again.

**From: Aki (^-^)**

**(^-^)**

**~AkiTsukishima**

I roll my eyes. At least you can understand why the assholes name in my phone has that face.

I huff in annoyance and open the picture again.

I can't fucking believe he took a picture of me and Tadashi sleeping. Idiot.

I save it to my phone anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima helps Yamaguchi study  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima helps Yamaguchi in his panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Uncover by Zara Larsson.

The next few days went by pretty fast. Things were back to normal between Tadashi and I, and oddly enough, Tadashi began spending more time with me. Although, sometimes that brought Kageyama into the picture more than I'd like, but at least he was happy and we were okay. A little pain never hurt anybody.

Tadashi told me that he had talked to Kageyama, who felt 'horrible' about not opening up to Tadashi very much. Kageyama explained that he has a lot of trust issues, because he's been burnt before. For example, when his team that he thought would have his back had left him in that game. Let the ball hit the floor, and they simply gave up on him. Apparently, that left the King all kinds of messed up, and he has a hard time trusting and opening up to anyone else. He told Tadashi that he would work on it, and Tadashi seems happy, again.

As much as I want him as my own, all I have of him is that picture of him snuggled up to me, hidden in my phone from the others.

You know, it seems that Tadashi and I have had more, 'moments' since that night. It's hard to explain, but we seem to be caught up in the moment to the point when we hang out, one of us can hold the others hand in comfort without it being weird. No, we don't cuddle so much. And no, we haven't done anything that would be him cheating on Kageyama. Although I want to kiss him constantly, I haven't. I wouldn't let the boy cheat on Kageyama, even if he wanted to.

Like today, for example.

It's Thursday, and it seems that tomorrow is a lucky day. We have not one, but two tests. One in math, and one in biology. So, we decided to go over to Yamaguchi's house this time.

When practice ends, we walk in silence, and somehow, our hands continuously graze each other's. I don't know what changed from when we usually walk together to now, but I can't ignore it. God, I wish I could, but ever brush of skin has my head spinning. But, I walk on.

When we get to Tadashi's house, I step in and immediately call out.

"Sorry for the intrusion!"

"Oh, now stop it, Kei. You know that you are welcome whenever." Tadashi's mother calls from another room. She walks into the foyer with a large smile on her face. "You are practically my adopted child."

I smile at her when she says that, and she knows I'm a man of few words, so after a returned smile, she hurries to the kitchen. I follow Tadashi to his bedroom, and toss my backpack onto the bed.

"We should probably start studying, it might take a while." I tell Tadashi, who nods with a slight smile on his face. I pull out my math textbook and lay it on his table, and pull up a chair. Tadashi pulls one up to, and I try to ignore the fact that he seemed to be closer today than normal.

We begin going through problem after problem, retracing our steps from previous work. Old homework, quizzes, and notes are mostly what we go through first, to refresh everything that will be on the test. Only after reworking some problems do we decide to begin working on the actual review sheet the teacher has given us.

At some point in there, I think I lost Tadashi. He looked dazed over and frustrated, more so every problem. The early problems were easy, and as they got harder, Tadashi got more and more flustered. I sigh, and turn towards him. He doesn't move.

It was almost as if he doesn't notice I moved.

I grab his waist and turn his body towards me, resulting in a yelping Tadashi.

"What the hell?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.

"What is your problem, Tadashi?" I ask him, and he pouts.

"You're the one that moved me." He responds, crossing his arms and huffing. I chuckle softly.

"No, I moved you because something is wrong. Spill." I tell him, and he sighs.

"I got lost in the last few problems. I don't get it." He finally admits, a blush tinting his cheeks.

"And? There's no reason to get frustrated, I can help you." I tell him, and he nods. "Where did you get lost?"

"I guess on example 13." He answers, and I lean closer to see his work.

x^2 – 13x = 30

x^2 – 13x – 30 = 0

(x+ ) (x- ) = 0

That was it, he had no solutions, he didn't even complete his factoring.

I move even closer to him, and he leans his head on his arm, looking at his paper.

"Alright, the first thing you want to do is think about what times what gives you 30, alright? Write out every multiple of 30." He does as told, and has formulated a small list.

1 * 30

2 * 15

3 * 10

5 * 6

"Alright, good. Now, look at the signs in the original equation. The – 13x means that the multiples have to add to this, and the – 30 means that it has to multiply to this. So, what, when multiplied together gives you – 30 and when added gives you – 13x?" I ask him, and he brings his pencil under his lip and prods it. I sigh and watch him think.

"Oh, -15 and 2." He says out of nowhere, and the look on his face is adorable.

"Alright, finish the problem." I watch as he writes out.

(x+2) (x-15) = 0

x=-2 and x=15

I smile and tap his back lightly.

"There. Now try the next few, until you get stuck." I tell him, and he does as told, getting through multiple more problems, by himself. Then, we get to one that is much more than he was ready for, in my opinion. He stares at it for some time, and I feel bad for him. He really is lost.

"Kei, I don't get it." He tells me, and I nod once. Reaching over to where his hand sits with the pencil in it, just resting on the paper, I close my hand over his for a moment. I slide my hand around his for a brief moment before removing the pencil from his hand. I stand out of my chair and walk behind him, leaning over his right shoulder and bringing my hand to his paper.

I begin explaining to him how to work out the problem: (2x-5)(x+1)=-12x. It is difficult, but I know he needs to know how to do this for the test. I walk through step by step, whispering to him, and he nods every time I speak. I show him ways to remember how to work it out, and he seems to get it. When I finish the problem, only then do I notice how close we are. My chest is pressed against his back softly, my arms around his shoulders, and my lips so close to his ear, I could lick the shell of it without even trying. I then notice how the tips of them are red. I feel my face heat up, and whisper into his ear.

"Do you understand?" I say, and I saw him shiver before he made a crucial mistake. He whips his head in my direction to respond, and all that comes out is merely a squeak.

The cutest squeak I've ever heard.

His lips are so close to mind I could kiss him. I could finally do what I've wanted to do for so long. My eyes stare deep into his, and my heart is pounding in my ears. My body is hypersensitive, and all it would take is one flinch forward and I could close the gap-

But I won't.

I let out a soft sigh, before leaning back.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, and he visibly relaxes. I glance at my hand and see I'm still holding his pencil. "I don't know why I stole your pencil, mine was right in front of me."

"Kei..." He mumbles, and I turn and look at him again. "Thanks."

I sigh and sit back down. We continue working through all of these solving quadratics problems, and I see him get frustrated again. It's barely noticeable, but I wouldn't miss it. I try to let him figure things out on his own instead of jumping in. Maybe because I want him to figure it out, or maybe because I don't want to put him in that situation again. I could have kissed him, and ruined a lot of things.

Eventually, I looked back up and saw him, and I was scared. His body was extremely tense, and he was shivering, and although his hair way blocking his face, I saw his lip was jutted out. I blink a few times before speaking.

"Tadash-"

"Why can't I do this?" He asks, frustrated, cutting me off. I sigh, but before I start speaking, he continues. "I literally don't understand any of this. How can I continue studying if I am stuck on this so much? I don't get the formula, nor do I get how to put the problem into the formula! Kei, why can't I be smart like you? You seem to always understand, and never have these issues, yet here is dumbass me, flustered over the quadratic fucking formula!"

I nearly dropped my mouth open, but decided against it. Tadashi needed me.

"Tadashi!" I snapped, and he flinched. "You are not a dumbass. There is a reason you are in class with me. Sure, I understand this, but I already had reviewed it earlier this week. I was frustrated too. I am not this Brainiac that can do any problem without trying, I have to try too. So, don't try to tell me you are a dumbass, and that I am so much smarter, because I am not. This problem is hard, hell, this section is hard, but you have to keep pushing. I will help you."

"But, Kei..." Tadashi whispered, and I was ready to give him a stern response until he looked at me. And, my heart shattered. Tears were streaming down his beautiful, freckled face, and his lip was quivering. His body was trembling, and he looked lost. "I-I could never be as smart as you. I don't even think you know how smart you really are. I feel like an idiot. I'm going to fail this test and be kicked down to a lower level in school and I'm probably still going to be lost there. What am I going to do? I wanted to go to college, but who is going to want an idiot like me? I can't even get the simple things, how am I supposed to do calculus? I just-"

"Tadashi." I interrupt. "Stop saying these terrible things. You are being dramatic, you will do fine on this test tomorrow, just let me help you." I say, in a soft voice. "You are not an idiot, and you will get into college and you will do great. Trust me."

He sighs, but the tears don't stop.

"I'm just... so stressed out, between this and biology..." He whimpers, and my heart breaks all over again, remembering the bullied boy that I once knew who whimpered in the same way. Before I can think, I stand up and grab Tadashi, one hand going under his knees and the other under his back and lifting him out of his chair. "H-hey!"

"Shut up, Tadashi." I say, carrying him to his bed and sitting with my back against the headboard. I set him in my lap, holding him the same way I carried him, and pushing his head to my chest.

I don't know if this was a good idea or not, because the moment Tadashi relaxes in my hold, he begins sobbing. Not crying, full out sobbing. My heart shatters and I feel like crying myself. His body feels so small suddenly, and I don't like it. Tadashi is always strong, so strong, and seeing him broken down destroys me. His hands are clutching my shirt tightly, and his tears are soaking it. I lean my cheek against his head, and begin whispering sweet nothings into his ears. Reminding him how smart he is. Reminding him how great he his. Reminding him he is strong.

He still hasn't stopped, but it seems to have slowed after some time. I stop whispering to him and can't help myself. I kiss the top of his head lightly, through his hair, and continue holding him to me tightly. If he notices, he doesn't say anything. He probably didn't because it was featherlight and on his hair.

Knowing that he is at least less emotional, I decide now is the time to be tough on him. I grip his chin as he continues crying.

"Tadashi."

Nothing.

"Tadashi."

Still nothing.

I yank his head up.

"Look at me."

Hesitantly, he raises his head. Brown to gold, I stare sternly.

"Don't you dare ever say you are a dumbass ever again. That you are an idiot. That you aren't smart enough." I start, and his head drops slightly. "No, don't drop your head. Don't make it seem like I am any smarter or better than you. Tadashi."

He moves slightly, and before I can blink, he is straddling my hips.

No, not like that. Nothing is touching, except for my thighs to his. Until his arms wrap around my neck in a bone-crushing hug.

"Kei." He whispers, and I know that means he needs more reassurance.

"Tadashi, you are one of the smartest people I know." I whisper, although he is still squeezing me.

And I have to get past the fact that I am sitting on his bed with him straddling me, but that is for another time.

"Hell, you are probably smarter than me. Especially in other areas. Your English is way better than mine, and your writing is absolutely perfect. Sure, I may get math quicker than you, but once you get it, you get it. I think your better at science, too. I have to try really hard sometimes, but you seem to get it. Oh, and art. Remember that dinosaur you drew me? It's still in my bedroom. Remember the dinosaur I tried to draw you in response? Do stick dinosaurs even exist, Tadashi?" I ask, trying to make things a little lighter, but still get my point across.

He chuckles softly, and I feel better already.

"That was pretty bad, Kei." He answers, voice cracked.

"See? You are smarter than I, Yamaguchi. You are smarter, nicer, and way cuter than I could ever be." I tell him, and he stops all movement for a moment.

Oh my god, I've fucked up.

Then, he relaxes again and recovers from my statement. We sit like that for probably ten more minutes before he is finally calm, as he cried the whole time. Once he stopped, he leaned back on his legs and sat close to my knees, but still above them.

"Kei," he whispered, and I could have moaned at the sound of my name. "Thank you."

The beaming smile he sent me was adorable, even if it had been accompanied by tear-stained cheeks and blood-strained eyes. I chuckle and pull him in for one more hug.

"Anytime, Tadashi." I whisper, and he leans back again, this time a little too close for my comfort zone.

Not that I would mind, but like, Kageyama...

Then, in a flash, I feel a wave of heat smack my left cheek, then Tadashi is gone, sitting at the table continuing studying. I bring my hand up to my left cheek and cup it.

Did Tadashi just-

No way.

But, like, Tadashi definitely just kissed my cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima gets a woken up at 1:24  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima calls Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Unsteady by X Ambassadors.

A knock wakes me from my peaceful sleep. Rolling my eyes, I see the time.

1:24

Who the fuck would wake me at 1:24 A.M. on a Saturday night?

Thinking about just going back to sleep, I roll on my side, and see that it is pouring outside.

Oh, yeah, it was supposed to thunderstorm, I forgot. Lightning cracks across the sky before the thunder reverberates my house. I watch as the rain continues falling from the black sky.

Then, comes the knock again.

God damn it, I can't leave whoever it is in the rain.

"Fuck." I mumble, standing up and cracking my neck. "Fuck."

I begin padding my way to the front door, when the knock comes again. I huff in annoyance. People are fucking impatient.

"Fuck." I mumble once more, and again when I stub my toe on the chair.

"I'm coming." I yell out, unlocking the door and swinging it open to reveal a figure.

"Fuck!" I shout this time, and grab the figure to pull it into the house. He drops to the floor with a thud, on his knees, and I can't find words.

"T-Tadashi?" I ask, walking forward and falling onto my knees in front of him. "What's wrong?"

He didn't even look up. I could see the water falling from his entire body, and I wondered if some of them were tears.

"You know what, I'll ask again in a minute. Hold on." I demand and lift him from the floor. If he doesn't get cleaned up, he'll get sick. I carry him up my stairs, lucky that my parent's nor Aki woke up.

Until I realized I was wrong.

Tadashi seemed to be asleep, and he was just a shivering figure in my arms. I make it to the top of the steps and find another figure staring at us.

"K-Kei! What happened!" Aki nearly screams, and I glared at him.

"I don't know just help me get him to my bathroom." I say, and Aki immediately jumps into action opening my bedroom door then opening my bathroom door. "Go get him clothes, I'm putting him in the shower. He's freezing."

I feel like panicking but I know it won't help anything.

I sit him on my toilet seat, and pull his shirt over his head without thinking. Then, I continue with his pants until I have a naked Tadashi in front of me, and I drag him into the shower. Sitting on the floor, I hold him against me and let the hot water bring some life back to him.

He doesn't move.

It's like he's barely breathing.

I grab the shampoo and wash his hair for him.

Hopefully this comforts him, to get his hair rubbed and cleaned.

Once I rinse his hair, I grab a rag and the bar of soap. I lift his face up, and it was the first time I saw his eyes.

Broken.

That's all I can say about his eyes. They simply looked broken.

I hold myself together and bring the rag to his face, where I clean his entire face. While I usually enjoy staring at his freckles and those brown eyes, all they do right now is haunt me.

After rinsing his face, I decide to rub his back and shoulders, while washing him. I put some body wash on my hands before gently bringing my hands to his shoulders. I use the strength of my hands from volleyball to massage deep into his shoulders, and onto his back. I hear a sigh every once in a while, and if he wasn't in pain, that probably would have turned me on. But this isn't the time for that.

After a thorough massage, I wash his chest, abs, and legs, but I won't go any further than that. I wouldn't do that.

"You're going to have to clean yourself a little." I warn him and hand him his washrag. He stares at it blankly for a minute before I glance down and he cleans the rest of him. He lets the water wash over him, and he looked so beautiful with the water cascading around him. "Tadashi, what happened."

He looked up at me with that same blank stare, and I sigh.

"Tadashi please, I need to know how to help." I whisper, but he hears.

"I-I..." He stumbles, but finally finds words. "Kageyama and I broke up."

"Where is he, I'll fucking kill him!" I shouted, rage taking over my body. How can he do this to my Tadashi? He stood out in the rain because of him. He broke his heart. Tadashi is not a broken mess in front of me because of Kageyama Tobio. I'll kill him. "I'll kill him."

I begin to stand to find Kageyama when a hand grabs mine.

One, whispered word was enough to make me fall back to my knees. A voice cracked, with pain.

"Don't."

I drop to my knees in front of Tadashi, pulling him to my chest. His head is crushed to it, but he doesn't seem to mind. I kiss the top of his head lightly, and he whispers again.

"It was my idea." He said, and my heart shivered. He's this heartbroken, and it was his idea? Did Kageyama fight him? "Before you freak out,"

Tadashi starts with that, and I loosen my grip to look at him.

"I brought it up, and we talked about it. We decided it would be better if we broke up. It was a clean break, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." He croaked out, and my heart quivered again.

"Tadashi, I'm so sorry." I whisper, kissing his head again. He needs to feel loved right now.

"I told him, I wasn't happy anymore. That I couldn't take him not opening up to me. It had gotten better, but it wasn't enough, Kei. It just... wasn't enough..." He cries out, and I just keep listening. "Sure, the sex was fun, but that's all it was. Fun sex. We barely talked, he barely opened up, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was at his house, and we were watching a movie. No talking. Just watching. Then, he started kissing me and something snapped inside me, Kei."

I screw my eyes shut, feeling my heart ache for him.

"I snapped at him and told him to stop. We had never denied each other before, and I didn't mean to. I just couldn't take it. Then I told him. We talked, and talked, and he said he could make it better, that he would be better, but I just put my foot down. I told him it wouldn't get better, that it was just who he was. He understood, and I don't know if that was better, or worse. That he knew he had horrible trust issues. That me breaking up with him just further proved that he had these issues. I think I hurt him, but he covered it up and we had a clean break. Kei..." Tadashi whispered, and the next words were my downfall. "My heart hurts..."

I grabbed him again and pulled him so close to my body that it had to hurt, before grabbing his face. Tears streaming down my own face, I pulled his face to mine. I kissed his cheeks, and his nose, and his forehead, before pulling him into another hug and kissing the top of his head.

"Tadashi..." I whisper to him. "I am so sorry."

He sobs softly, and holds me to him.

"Oi," I started. "You will get past this, I promise. If you weren't happy, you did the right thing. Even the King will understand that you were unhappy. I bet he knows you didn't mean to hurt him. He probably even agreed with you that it was just a purely... sexual relationship. He knew that you wanted more. But he couldn't give it to you. He has to understand that. He will be fine and you will be fine."

He sighed.

"What if he's not." Tadashi said, and I pulled him from me to look into his eyes.

"Would you have rather stayed in the relationship and been unhappy yourself, Tadashi?" I asked, and his eyes went large. "You needed to get out, even if it hurt him. But, he will be okay, Tadashi, he will heal. So will you."

Tears began streaming again, and his lip shook. I kissed his cheeks and nose and forehead again before holding him.

We stayed like that until I felt the shower turning cooler, so I got us out.

When we got out, I noticed Aki had left two pairs of clean pajamas on the counter, and I hadn't noticed he'd even been in there. I helped Tadashi dry and get into his pajamas, then removed my soaked ones to put my own dry ones on. I walked him out of the bathroom, and helped him into bed, where he nearly fell asleep instantly.

I fished for my phone, and when I found it on my nightstand, I walked out of the bedroom and into my kitchen downstairs. I ring a phone number I never thought I would.

The second the phone picks up, I speak before they can even say 'hello.'

"Hinata, Kageyama and Yamaguchi-"

"Yes, he is here." Hinata cut me off. If this wasn't so important, I probably would have been pissed.

"How is he?" I ask gently, and Hinata is silent for a moment.

"He's hurting, but I think he will be just fine. I think he just really liked Yamaguchi, and he broke his heart. Even Kageyama knows that it needed to end, I can tell. He didn't say so, but he knows." Hinata said to him, and I sighed. "And Yamaguchi?"

"Crushed. He initiated it, and yet, he is heartbroken. He ran to my house after and was soaked to the bone. He thinks he really hurt Kageyama and that he just further proved that Kageyama has trust issues and shit. Yamaguchi is blaming himself so much and just wants Kageyama happy. Their relationship wasn't healthy." I tell Hinata, and he sighs.

I can't believe he's been so quiet and mature, for this long.

"I know it wasn't healthy, Kageyama told me all about the relationship since the beginning. I kept telling him if he doesn't shape up and talk to Yamaguchi that he wouldn't stay long. Turns out, I was right." Hinata pauses. "I wish I wasn't because then we wouldn't have two heartbroken teenagers to deal with. But, Yamaguchi shouldn't feel bad, he obviously wasn't happy and what Yamaguchi wanted, Kageyama couldn't give. They both deserve people that can give them exactly what they need, without needing to change."

I think there was a silent understanding between the two of us, right then and there. Hinata was in the same boat as I was, in love with his best friend, and crushed by their relationship.

"I gotta get back to Yamaguchi, he's asleep, but I don't want him alone for long. Take care of Kageyama, alright?" I said, sincerely, surprisingly. I can practically feel Hinata's smile through the phone.

It was sort of creepy.

"Alright, you take care of Yamaguchi. Good night." Hinata responds.

"Night."

We hang up, and I walk back up to the bedroom to find Tadashi still asleep.

Suddenly, as I stare at Tadashi, I have a memory come back.

"Can I sleep next to you? What kind of friend would I be if I let you sleep alone when you were sad..."

Yamaguchi had asked me that months ago, when he told me he loved Kageyama, and found me in the shower. When he didn't put the pieces together that I was in love with him.

I sigh and crawl into bed next to Tadashi, and try to pretend I was asleep when he rolled over and snuck his way under my arm and wrapped his body around my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima watches Yamaguchi deal with the breakup  
> -and-  
> The first years hang out  
> -AND-  
> Yamaguchi is a temptress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Ex's and Oh's by Elle King.

The next week was hard.

Hell, the next two weeks were hard.

There was nothing hateful between the two, nor did they make up. It was just filled with misunderstood glances and tears hidden behind masks. They didn't speak to each other, and I could see the pain in each of their faces when someone would ask about them.

Hinata and I told the team, together. Both, understandably missed practice that Monday, and we told the team about their breakup and how it affected them both. We didn't mention them being fuck buddies more than lovers. We didn't mention how we had to take care of them that night and all Sunday.

When they did come back, they just avoided each other.

Avoidance became awkwardness.

Awkwardness became glances.

Glances became pain.

Pain became comfort.

Comfort became healing.

Healing finally became acceptance.

And I was there every step of the way with Tadashi, similarly to how Hinata was there for Kageyama.

Finally, almost a month after they broke up, words were exchanged. They didn't talk about being together. They didn't talk about what went wrong. They didn't talk about their breakup. They said simple words to each other, like they were at least acquaintances again.

And from there, it blossomed into a normal friendship. Thankfully they didn't seem awkward with each other. They seemed... okay.

I didn't tell Tadashi, but I caught Kageyama kissing Hinata against a wall after practice. I just gave Hinata a thumbs up, and after the initial blush of being caught was over, he just winked at me. Kageyama had no idea, and I just kept walking and pretended it never happened.

Yet here I am.

I haven't made a move on Tadashi, yet. He's healed from the breakup by now. But, I am afraid to rush things. I am afraid to push him too far. And I am afraid that if I got with Tadashi and things went wrong, we wouldn't be able to get back to normal like Tadashi and Kageyama did.

That is my biggest fear.

Tadashi and I have been a constant since that night. I haven't kissed his head, nor his face, like I did that night, since it happened. We didn't talk about it either. We didn't need to. I needed to comfort him, so I did what I thought best; I kissed his face. We didn't touch lips, there wasn't anything romantic about it, but I did manage to help him.

What am I doing right now?

Tadashi, Kageyama, Hinata, Yachi and I are all over at Hinata's house watching a movie. This is honestly just entertaining; I can't help it.

Yachi is sitting in a reclining chair by herself, holding a bowl of popcorn and snacking on it from time to time. When I got up to go to the bathroom, and returned, I had walked behind her and saw her texting. She was texting Kiyoko. I didn't read the messages, but there was definitely some flirting going on and every time I looked at Yachi, her face was flushed.

Kageyama and Hinata are sitting on the big couch with Tadashi and I. They are on the left end, and they are pretending they are not together. Kageyama is in the corner, and his legs are pulled up to his chest, with about a foot gap between his legs and chest. Hinata is slightly leaning on him, but not enough to give away that they are together. What does give it away is the glances they throw each other and the way if you look really closely, you can see that Hinata's arm is back and in Kageyama's lap, fingers intertwined.

Then there's us. On the right side of the couch, we are slightly huddled, but not too much. Tadashi's scooted way down, and I think I'm the only one that notices his head is laying on me. It appears that his head is just kind of, leaning, but barely. In all actuality, his head is fully rested on my shoulder and arm area. It comfortable. His legs are curled under him, so his body slightly curls towards mine, and his arms disappear into his lap. I am just sitting against the ledge of the couch, holding popcorn for Tadashi and I to share, and about 20 minutes into the movie, instead of grabbing popcorn like I suspected, Tadashi grabs my hand. Our fingers aren't intertwined, but his pinky finger is wrapped around my own.

It's probably the cutest thing he has ever done.

I keep his pinky tight with mine and watch the entire movie.

All of us are with our significant others in some way or another, while hidden. I only notice because I am very perceptive, nobody else would know, nor did they need to know. I would keep their secrets.

I don't know what is going on between Tadashi and I, but I know I wouldn't trade it for the world.

After that movie is done, there is an overall agreement to watch another. I sigh, and Tadashi stands up rather quickly, smiling.

"Kei and I will go get more popcorn!" He says excitedly, and I glance at our half full bowl of popcorn, and shrug.

Then, the room goes more silent.

"O-okay, Yamaguchi!" Hinata stutters, and Tadashi nearly skips out of the room. Then, all eyes land on me.

Hinata's eyebrows wiggle as he stares at me, and I roll my eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, Hinata." I respond, and he smirks

"Oi, Tsukishima, he's waiting." Hinata shouts, winking, and I glare at him.

Can the Shrimpy be any more annoying?

"Oi, Shrimpy." I pause, and he narrows his eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

I begin walking away and Hinata decides to respond, now.

"Just because you aren't getting any from Yamaguchi doesn't mean you have to be a dick." He mumbles, and I freeze.

Kageyama doesn't know I'm after Tadashi.

Yachi doesn't know I am after Tadashi.

I kept Hinata's secret with me, and he just blasted mine.

"Just because you are getting some from Kageyama doesn't mean you have to be a dick." I sneer, and walk out of the room.

"Hinata! Hinata-boke!" Kageyama screams, and I listen to the two bicker as I smirk, walking to the kitchen.

"Hinata is a fucking midget, why do they keep the popcorn so high up!" I hear a grumble as I enter the kitchen. Yamaguchi is pressed against the counter, reaching above his head, and I could seriously drool at the sight. He is stretched out, his shirt rising to reveal skin, and he just looks good.

I stare in awe for a few seconds.

Then, as if in a trance, I make my way to Tadashi, and stop directly behind him.

He doesn't even know I am here.

I close that extra gap, leaning forward and reaching up, above both of us, and gripping onto the box of popcorn.

My body is pressed against his tightly. My thighs are pressed against his ass, my abs against his back, my chest pressed into his shoulders and his lower neck. My lips linger on the back of his head as my arm weighs lightly on his own. He freezes.

I go to drag the popcorn bag down, until I am frozen, because Tadashi becomes unfrozen.

He smoothly turns his head to the side, and my lips are now resting on his temple as his arm drops down. Then, he looks up, at the same time I look down at him.

Our lips are separated by mere centimeters.

I can't help but glance down at his lips.

I can't ignore that he licks his lips.

After a few moments, I bring my eyes back to meet his, and I know I've made a mistake.

His eyes drag me into some trap, some hypnosis, because everything in my body stops. Everything around us falls away, and the sound of my heart beating fills the air. Then, I see a light blush grazing over his freckled face.

Oh my god, what did I do to deserve this today?

God, he is perfect.

We stand like that a few more moments until he decides to move.

He turns his hips ever so slightly, creating a little distance. His eyes remain on mine as he turns around, and leans back against the counter.

I stand in place, with the small gap between us.

Then, what he does next goes straight to my heart, then straight to my dick, to be honest.

Oh, Yamaguchi Tadashi is so innocent and pure. He needs protected. He is too sweet and could never do anything bad.

WRONG!

Tadashi smirks at me. Not like a sarcastic smirk. Not even a 'I got you' smirk. But a full on sexy smirk that screams 'fuck me until I scream.'

I blink a few times, in shock of the smirk that overcame my 'pure' and 'innocent' best friend.

And I realize just then, he isn't pure.

And I think that I need protection from him.

Then, when I don't think it could get any worse, his teeth bite down onto his lower left lip, still smirking, and staring into my eyes.

He literally looks so satisfied with himself.

My heart stops when he reaches forward, and loops his fingers in the belt loops of my jeans. He tugs, and pulls me until I am pressed up against him.

Every ridge of our bodies can be felt against one another, and I forgot how to breathe.

Literally.

Tadashi laughs when I finally let out a breath.

God, having him pressed up against this counter, and feeling him flush against my body makes me nearly animalistic.

My arms lay on either side of him, trapping him in. I look in control here, but it is far from the truth. Tadashi has me by the balls, and he knows it.

He leans forward, and right when I feel his hot breath fan my face, and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he doesn't. Instead, his lips pass my own, and glide slightly across my cheek, to my jaw, and follows it until his lips are by my neck. Then, they trail up to brush my ear.

"Kei," he whispers, and it almost sounds like a whimper. "Kei."

My heart shivers, and I have to bite my lip to suppress the moan.

"Kei, doesn't this feel-"

And right then, I hear feet pad in. I freeze, but Tadashi doesn't. He stays perfectly calm.

"Hey gu-" The voice cuts off, followed by a gasp. "Uh, they asked me to come get you guys, the movie is gonna start."

Poor Yachi.

Tadashi stays next to my ear and gently says, "alright we will be there in a moment."

Yachi takes that dismissal and runs with it. Literally. I heard her run out of the room.

I'm glad I couldn't see her haunted face.

Tadashi's lips then graze the shell of my ear before he begins speaking again.

"Looks like we will have to finish this later." Tadashi whispers, and I could feel my heart skip again. Before I can tell him to wait. To let me tell him that I love him, he is pushing around me and in the living room. After a few moments, I follow, and we return to our normal places on the couch as if that never happened, and Tadashi is back to quiet, submissive Tadashi.

I keep questioning if it really happened.

Even when the movie ended, and we all left, and I went home, I still questioned if it happened.

Only one thing held me back.

Sure, I didn't care for Kageyama. Not at all, honestly. He's kind of an ass, and still King, but like... I don't want to hurt him by jumping into a relationship with Tadashi.

Nor do I want to be Tadashi's rebound.

Just as my mind settled on not making my move, and I laid down, I heard my phone go off.

**From: King (-_-)**

**Be good to him.**

**-** **Kag's**

I know that didn't require a reply, so I didn't. I simply clicked my phone off, rolled onto my side, and made a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are stargazing  
> -and-  
> They have a heart-to-heart  
> -AND-  
> Tsukishima needs a cold shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Counting Stars by OneRepublic.

Or at least, I thought I made a decision. That's how I found myself the next night, laying in my backyard on my back, staring at the sky. Staring at the moon. Staring at the stars.

There's still one thing plaguing my thoughts. What if he doesn't like me the way I like him, and it ruins what we have? I don't think I could take that. I think that would be the death of me.

I have all of these doubts, but my mind goes back to yesterday. The way he flushed from my touch. The way he smirked at me and bit his lips. The way he licked his lips. And the way he pulled me close and teased me in the way he did.

It's just scary.

All of this is so scary and so new to me.

But there is no doubt in my mind that I love Tadashi with every fiber of my being.

I close my eyes and breathe the fresh air.

God, could things be any clearer tonight? My outside lights are off, so I can see the sky even better, and it is beautiful.

I don't even hear the gate open, nor the footsteps that approach me as I am distracted by the serenity.

I do notice, though, when I feel a body lay down next to mine.

"What's on your mind, Kei?" The voice speaks, and I sigh.

"Honestly?" I ask, with a pause that ushers me on. "You."

When I realize what I've said, I decide to ruin the progress.

"How are you?" I ask, trying to make it seem like I was worried about him. I hear a sigh before he speaks.

"You know, I am fine now. Kageyama and I... we weren't meant to be. Something with our hormones... maybe there was something in the water, but it wasn't who either of us should be with. It was fun while it lasted, but we couldn't be open with each other, and it's fine. Really. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I can honestly say I don't feel awkward around him anymore. It's like, it never happened, and I don't mind it staying that way." He tells me, both of us staring at the stars.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out." I whisper to him, tilting my head to look at him. He doesn't look back, and I don't think he knows I am looking at him, either. He doesn't know I saw the flicker of emotion in his eyes in response to what I said.

"Me too, Kei." He whispers, and though his voice sounds confident, I see the slightest hurt in his eyes. He's healed, but I don't think the wounds will ever fully heal. I sigh, but keep my eyes on him. "Although, I see he has found respite in Hinata."

I freeze and almost don't speak.

"H-how did you know that?" I ask softly, and he smirks.

"It's hard to be subtle when you're in love with someone." He says, sighing. "Can't you see it, when they look at each other? More so now, than before, so I think something finally happened between the two. You can't hide love."

"No, I guess you can't," I respond softly, wishing that he could notice my love for him, because he obviously doesn't. I realize then that maybe he is just afraid as I am. Maybe that's why he fooled with me yesterday. Because he had the same fears as I did. He wants to touch me, to be with me, but he is scared. Scared of what this is, and what it will do to us.

That, is enough to give me confidence.

I continue staring at him, as he stares at the stars. I feel like I am staring at the stars myself, and in a way, I am.

We sit there for quite some time, in the same positions, in silence.

"How did you find yourself out here?" Tadashi breaks the silence with his question.

"I told you. I was thinking about you." I tell him, with more confidence than the first time.

"And how does thinking about me make you sit out here, looking melancholy?" He asks, and I smile. He is mighty perceptive tonight.

"I wasn't just wondering how you are, Tadashi." I tell him, and a light smile graces his lips, and I smile to myself.

"God, the sky is so beautiful tonight. And the stars. How is it so clear out?" He says, changing the course of conversation.

"They are." I respond, to only a fraction of what Tadashi said.

The stars.

They are beautiful.

With that, he turns his head towards me, and catches me staring at him. His eyes widen in surprise, but once his eyes meet mine, he can't seem to turn away, either.

Moments pass, and we are so lost in each other.

"Tadashi." I breathe out, and find myself turning on my side. Tadashi also moves onto his side, and I find myself closing the distance between us, lying so close that our noses are almost touching.

We continue staring at each other, and I find a way to move on.

I carefully, and slowly, bring my hand up and rest it against his cheek. My thumb strokes it a few times, and his eyes close.

They only open again when I speak.

"Tadashi," his eyes snap open. "You know, I've been trying for so long to find a way to tell you something. But..."

I pause, and breathe out, allowing my heart to slow down.

Everything seems surreal.

"Yamaguchi Tadashi, I am so in love with you." I whisper, and he literally stiffens.

In turn causing me to stiffen.

Instead of panicking, instead of turning me down, he stutters out one word.

"A-again." He whispers, face scrunched.

"I love you." I whisper. I got a response that is the only thing I didn't expect.

I didn't get rejected.

I didn't get slapped.

I didn't get an 'I love you' back.

I don't even get a word response.

Instead, tears begin falling down his beautiful face, and I feel like crying.

Why is he crying?

"Tadashi, what's wrong?" I ask, panic mode setting in. He sobs softly, and I grab his head and pull his head to my chest.

"I-I never thought, in a million years, that you would ever love me back." He whimpers out, and my heart shatters. "I never thought I was good enough, I didn't think I deserved you, I couldn't let myself think even for a moment that you could love me."

I hold him while he cries, still talking.

"Who could love me, Kei? I'm awkward, my hair is green, I have ugly eyes, my freckles are disgusting marks on my body, lips too small, my ahoge is gigantic, I'm quiet, I'm weird, I'm dumb, I'm nothing, Tsukishima Kei." He mumbles, and I finally had enough.

"Tadashi..." I whisper, and pull him back to stare into my eyes. "Don't say anything like that ever again. You are beautiful, strong, sincere, funny, your skin is perfect, your hair is perfectly you, your brown eyes rope me in every time, and those freckles. God don't get me started. I know I've said it before, but I need to say it again. Your freckles are the cutest thing ever. They are beauty marks, allover your body, covering your beautiful skin, like the stars in this night sky, Tadashi. I love that you are hardworking and loyal. I love that there are sides of you that only I get to see. You are an angel sent to this Earth, Yamaguchi Tadashi, and I love you so much that it hurts."

He stares into my eyes, and I hope they convey the truth. I hope he senses everything I am telling him.

Something in that moment changed. Something deeper. Something softer.

I don't know what took over me, but I closed that miniscule distance between our lips, and placed mine over his.

The moment my lips met his, I swear, I knew in that exact moment in time that nothing in this world could ever compare to what I was feeling. Every ending of my nerves stood tall, and electricity flew through my body, and my heart felt like it burst.

Maybe it could. I don't think I would be upset, because I got to kiss Tadashi. Finally.

His lips were soft against mine, and he kissed back immediately.

Strawberries.

Just like in my dream, he tasted like strawberries.

Okay, this time, I can't hold back my moan. He was beyond perfect at this point.

When I moaned, he whimpered. It was no longer a sad whimper like I was used to, this was the sexiest nose I had ever heard.

I softly pull back, but quickly. I just moaned. Into Tadashi's mouth. Oh my god, I am so embarrassed.

"Kei." Tadashi whispers, lips grazing mine as he spoke. "I love you, I have always loved you."

This time, I couldn't hold back. I flew forward, probably faster than I should have, and claimed his lips as my own. This one was even better than the last.

I love Tadashi.

Tadashi loves me.

We love each other.

Nothing could beat the feeling of kissing someone who loves you as much as you love them.

His hand reaches up and grabs at the back of my neck, pulling me closer, and my whole body is pulled in.

It was like I was floating. My body was pressed against his, and his against mine, as our lips collided smoother than I could have ever expected. I hadn't kissed anyone, and to my knowledge, he's only kissed the King.

Okay, bad thoughts.

Regardless, we flowed together like a river. Soared like the nighttime birds, flying under the stars and around.

I got lost in kissing Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Something else changed in that exact moment. It felt like the world tilted on a different axis, and when my eyes open, as did Tadashi's, and I could tell we both felt the same thing. In one fluid motion, Tadashi rolls onto his back as I roll on top of him, our lips never disconnecting. My arms are on either side of his head holding me up, and Tadashi has his legs spread slightly so that my right leg can fit between them, while my left leg was bent up, not allowing us to completely be pressed against each other.

We might do something we regret if we do that.

Should I push it?

Yes.

After a moment, I decide my next move. I open my mouth, just a little bit, and my tongue slips out to lightly trace Tadashi's lips. I feel his body jut forward a bit, his back arching into my chest, and I used my one hand to push him down.

If he body rolls against me again like that...

His mouth opens, and my tongue meets his, and another wall broke.

I moan loudly into Tadashi's mouth, the feeling of our tongues touching a lot less gross than I thought it would be.

Actually, it's not gross at all.

It's just fucking hot.

The moan that comes out of his mouth in response is sinful, and I am slowly losing myself in Tadashi. Everything fades away that isn't Tadashi.

Our tongues lap together, and neither one of us hid our moans at this point. There was no way either of us had enough control to stop it, even if we wanted to. I don't think either of us wanted to, we were enjoying the sounds the other made way too much.

I explore every crevice of his mouth, and my body quivers when I feel a hand at the edge of my t-shirt.

I find myself nibbling on my lip for a moment before kissing him again, and he takes that as a yes. His hand tentatively moves under my t-shirt, but isn't touching my skin.

I almost wish it hadn't, because the feeling that sparked through my body was nearly enough to kill me. His hands press against my abs on the left side, and I moan. My hips buck slightly, pressing to Tadashi, and I just know he had to feel my erection. He groans out, too, and I smirk before continuing to kiss him.

At least I know he is as affected as I am.

We continue kissing, and it is nearly distracting the way his hand feels every ridge of my abdomen, exploring every inch until he eases up to my chest. His hands glade over my chest muscles, and up and over my shoulders. He grips my muscular shoulders tightly, being the only thing that's keeping me grounded right now.

I pull my tongue from his for a moment.

"Say it." I whisper, and he smiles mischievously.

"Say what, Kei?" He says with a weird tone in his voice, and I feel my cock twitch.

"You know what." I respond, and try to ignore how hard I am.

"I can't seem to tell what you mean, Kei?" He says.

Shit, he knows how much him calling me by my name affects me. Damn it.

"I love you. Tell me you love me, Tadashi." I mumble, and he smiles. I don't miss the way his hips jerk.

I wonder if he is as hard as me? Nothing of mine is touching him like that. Although, it probably is a good thing...

"Oh! You mean that, Kei!" He says, and I raise my eyebrow. He leans forward and places his lips on my ear. I feel them brush as he speaks. "I love you, Tsukishima Kei."

My arms almost collapse out from under me, but I stay up. I lean on one arm and bring the other one up to cup the back of his head as I slam his lips into mine. We kissed under the stars for what felt like an eternity before calling it a night.

I shut the door and begin walking to my bathroom to shower when I feel the ache between my legs.

Well, I know what I will be doing in the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ° ʖ °)  
> -and-  
> ( ° ʖ °)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Starving by Hailee Steinfeld.

Probably a month go by of us kissing, constantly. I guess I should say whenever we are alone. In public, you might not even be able to tell we are together, minus the way our eyes hold a little longer, or how we find a way to touch even in the slightest ways every chance we get. I don't even think the team has caught on.

I don't think I could be that kind of boyfriend, the one that makes out with his boyfriend in public and is constantly reminding him how much he loves him. It's just not me, and I can tell Tadashi knows that.

Now, in private...

My lips lock to Tadashi's, and I know he can hardly handle it by the way his body shivers in delight, and his breath is stuck in his chest. We had hardly made it to my room before I threw my bag off and had Tadashi against my bedroom door. My lips yield slightly, only allowing enough space for him to release the breath he held, and it is consumed by my mouth, used as my own breath.

He gasps in response, and I open my eyes to see his own rolled back.

His shocked, turned on face is so fucking hot.

I had never done that, but at least I know to do it again, to get that same response. I kiss him hard, but not harshly, and he kisses back with the same strength. I don't know that we will ever get sick of kissing each other...

Somehow, we end up sitting on the bed. That is the farthest we have gone; we haven't even laid on the bed. I think we both know that those are dangerous waters that we aren't ready for.

Both of us are on our knees, sitting up, to put as little space between us as possible and allow us to kiss. His hands are holding both of my cheeks as he kisses me, and I have my arms around his waist, holding him to me. At some point, his forehead rubs up against my glasses, smudging them, so I make a decision.

Bye bye glasses. At least Tadashi is close enough to where I can still see him perfectly.

I set them down, and see Tadashi staring at me, mouth hanging open and lips red and slightly coated in saliva.

"You are so fucking hot." Tadashi whispers, and I moan, latching back onto him like my life depended on it.

I also found out that Tadashi always finds a way to surprise me. What he did today definitely surprised me.

We were kissing, then suddenly, he pushed me, and my back was against the backboard. I was sitting on my butt, legs stretched straight out. If that hadn't thrown me off, him climbing onto my lap and sitting so that his ass was right over my dick did. I blinked a few times at him, before he moved in for the kill.

He started kissing me roughly, causing my head to spin. This isn't too out of the ordinary. We kiss each other roughly sometimes.

Until his tongue grazed my lip.

Is he trying to take control of me?

I open my mouth, and within a second, his tongue is crashing against mine. I groan loudly, and I know there is a chance that Akiteru could have heard us if he hadn't been out. Tadashi smiles before continuing his assault, and we fight for dominance. This is too... weird.

Until, he wins, and his tongue starts caressing my tongue, and the inside of my mouth with the right amount of gentle and rough. Then I realize, holy shit, this is fine too. It isn't bad that he is dominating this time.

It's actually, really really hot. Like oh my god.

His tongue expertly darts around my mouth and I can't stop myself from panting. When Tadashi's tongue gently caresses my own again, my breath catches, and Tadashi immediately retracts his tongue and encloses my mouth with his own, leaving a small opening between our mouths. I exhale, and he breathes in, and I realize what the big deal earlier was. It is fucking hot to have the other inhale your breath... It makes me breathless.

Literally.

My dick twitches, and I feel Tadashi gasp back into my mouth, and I smirk.

Control yourself Kei.

I have to keep reminding myself not to rush anything... Tadashi deserved more.

Then, Tadashi does something that we haven't done yet.

After a little bit of kissing, I feel a slight pain to my lip before I feel excited nerves surge through my body. I groan out loudly, and Tadashi's returning groan is lewd. Shit.

I bring my hand up to cup my lips and stare at Tadashi.

"Did you just bite me?" I ask, raising my eyebrow at Tadashi. He smiles largely, and I glare.

"Yes, did you feel it? The way it only hurts for a second before it awakens every nerve of your body in a way you couldn't believe yourself?" He asks, stars in his eyes. My hand drops from my mouth, and it stays open, and Tadashi immediately swipes in. He kisses a few more times before I feel that similar sensation. Tadashi's teeth grip my lower lip in a soft bite, and I feel that slight pain before the burst of pleasure.

"Fuck." I groan out, and I realize I shouldn't have done that. I should have controlled it, because something shifted. Tadashi's eyes darkened before my own, and I feel the temperature go up. He quickly comes back in and begins assaulting my lips with kisses, licks and nips. Before I can even think, my hands grip his waist, then his shirt. Next thing I know, his shirt is thrown across the room, smacking my door and falling to the floor. Tadashi doesn't even flinch, and in turn, pulls my shirt off just as fervently.

Oh god.

And after that though, his bare chest presses against my own, and I feel like my body is going to combust. I've never... good lord. This is amazing.

Both of us moan out at the same time before sharing eye contact and coming in for an intense kiss.

It doesn't last long, because I am done with games. I wrap my right arm around his waist and quickly flip us over, pinning him to the bed with my body as his legs spread for me to rest in-between. I settle between them, and the minute my abs meet his, I shiver. Who knew just that skin contact could drive me insane?

I capture his lips again, gently at first, but move on to what I want to try. I kiss his cheeks, over his freckles, his chin and forehead. After that, I move back to his cheek, before making my way to his jawline. Kissing from one ear to the other, following his jawline, I can feel him squirm slightly. He has to know what's coming. Once I get to the other ear, I kiss that super soft spot behind your jaw, right under your ear. The minute my lips meet his neck there, his back arches up, pressing his chest to mine, and I nearly come unglued. Holy shit.

"Kei!" He whimpers, and I smile and release the kiss. I place kisses down his carotid artery, until my lips meet the trapezius muscle, behind and above the collar bone. He pants the whole time I kiss his carotid, but calls out when my lips meet the muscle. "Kei!"

I've found one of his spots, definitely. I kiss a few times along the muscles, before allowing my tongue to escape, and press hard against the muscle.

"Oh my god," Tadashi mumbles, and his arms encircle my body, around to my back, where he all but claws into it.

Hmm... might as well try out one more big thing.

I lightly bite into Tadashi's neck, to the point where it probably didn't even hurt, but the contact of my teeth was enough for him to lose it. His nails bit into my back, and he cried out.

I scraped my teeth along the same muscle, before allowing another bite. I bite harder this time, enough where he probably felt a tinge of pain, but this time I got a better result.

"Fuck, Kei!" He screeched, really digging into my back, and I licked where I bit to soften the slight pain he might feel. I don't think I could ever bite harder than that, though. His body was pressed against mine in the best way, and now, I could feel his erection pressing against me.

I glanced up at Tadashi, a mess and I loved it. He was panting, his face was red, his lips swollen, and he had just yelled 'fuck, Kei' and I think my heart exploded.

"Holy fucking hell, Tadashi," I whisper, and Tadashi looks down, into my eyes. "That was so fucking hot."

He moaned in response, and I continue my assault on his neck, kissing every square inch, discovering some more specific spots Tadashi likes (aka a spot on his collar bone, the junction between the collar bones, and right behind his ear). Then, I pushed just a little further. Just a little bit, after this, I would be done.

My lips go to his chest, and I begin kissing a few times, not too low, to gauge his reaction. He grips my arms roughly, holding tight. I smile against his skin, knowing that that was him accepting this. I continue kissing across his chest, until I get to where his diaphragm is; right above the start of his abs. Looking up into his eyes, I place a soft kiss on the top of his abs, and he moans out.

Oh shit.

I lose it, yet again. Instantly, my tongue is out, and feeling the ridges of the top of his abs. His hands tangle in my hair, and I moan, this time. Not only is he gripping my hair, but his abs... like... fuck.

I go down a little more, and apparently hit a sensitive spot, because his abs tighten immediately, and I groan.

"Fuck, Tadashi, your perfect." I say, lips still brushing his stomach. My tongue comes back out, and I lick every ridge of his abs, loving the way they tense and stretch underneath it. Tadashi was starting to lose it, so I know I need to stop soon, or else I am going to fuck him and I don't want to rush that.

I work my way up his body, leaving kisses all the way up.

"I love you," I whisper, before placing my lips on his. He kisses back ferociously. Then, I am suddenly on my back.

"Your turn." Tadashi says, voice lower than normal. Oh go-

"Ahh!" I cry out as the first kiss lands on my neck, just in the right spot. Who knew the neck could be this sensitive?

I grip his waist, and keep ahold tightly while he kisses the hell out of my neck, licking, sucking (softly, so we don't leave hickeys) and nipping. Then, he reaches a part of my collarbone, and bites down, and not too gentle either.

I cried out again and I felt my nails grip his hips rough. That will probably leave marks, much like the ones that burn my back from Tadashi. He licks where he bit, then sucks it before moving on. The moment his lips meet my chest, I die a little bit.

"T-Tadashi" I moan out, and he smiles against my skin, causing my hips to buck up.

Mistake.

My hips buck up, and for the first time that day, our erections pressed against each other's.

"Fuck!" I cry out at the same time Tadashi cries out, "Ahh!"

I bite my lip, and he continues kissing my chest, causing me to wiggle more, to create some more friction. That felt...

Then, his lip connect with my abs, and I squeeze them. I couldn't help it. It just... felt so amazing. His tongue traced my abs softly, and I felt him moan against my skin every time I tensed them.

He sucks one spot of my abs, so low that it was under my belly button. I cry out, because although it felt good, it also hurt, and I know for a fact that that had to leave a mark. I look down, and sure as hell, a mark begins to form, and I make eye contact with Tadashi.

God that was fucking hot.

He smirks, and holds my eyes with his eye contact. There was a look in his eye that I'm not sure that I liked. Keeping eye contact the whole time, I watch as his tongue juts out and dips into my belly button, before quickly lapping, then bringing his tongue back into his mouth.

My head is thrown back so hard, and I just miss the headboard. I moan out loudly, and he works his way back up my body.

"Kei, do you want to... uh..." He trails off, and I know he is asking about going further. Any further, and we are losing another item of clothing.

I try to clear my head from all that happened, and eventually, I cool enough to answer correctly.

"Let's wait a little longer, Tadashi. I want to take things slow with you." I whisper, and guide his head to lean on my chest. I bring my lips down, and place them above his ear like he had done to me, letting them graze his ear before adding, "then, I will fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk."

He groans, before leaning up and kissing me roughly on the lips.

After a few stolen kisses, I turn on my side, and pull Tadashi into me. My bare chest presses against his bare back for the first time, and both of us groan before getting settled. I wrap my right arm around his body, holding my hand flat to his stomach, and the other under our heads. Tadashi's left hand lays on top of my left hand, and his right moves under his head.

Legs tangled, hands held, we fall asleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi go to a school dance  
> -and-  
> ( ° ʖ °)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Line.

I had been dreading this for my whole life, I knew it would happen when I was in high school. I knew better than to let the thought of it slip away, yet I did, so when the first announcements about it coming soon went up, I almost shot myself there and then.

Why?

Why me?

Too many sweaty bodies. Everyone is trying too hard. Everyone is bouncing around. I suspect that 60% of the people here are drunk. Too many people touching me and too many camera flashes.

It's like going to hell and back in one night.

Those motherfucking school dances.

I think I would rather walk to hell and back than go to one, but you know how stupid I am. The whole Karasuno Volleyball Club wanted to go to it together, as a gigantic group, and here I am refusing. That is, until Tadashi looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes that just droop just a little, open a little wider, glisten slightly, and the brown seems to pop, even though there isn't an actual difference. The moment I saw him, I just nodded, then told the team I would go.

Which brings me to now.

I am standing in my parents living room, waiting for Tadashi to leave my room. I was completely ready by the time he got here. When he got here, he wasn't ready at all. The only thing he accomplished was to shower... his hair wasn't even in control. I huff in frustration and sit in the bedroom while he fixes up his hair and makes sure to brush his teeth. Once he was done, he came to my room where his suit was sitting and I got ready to leave, to let him change.

"Kei, it's not like you haven't seen my naked." He told me, wiggling his eyebrows. I see flashbacks to the night he came to my house crying, and I had to shower him. I saw all of Tadashi that night.

"True, but I don't want to have the talk with my family tonight that I stayed in the room while you changed because I have seen you naked, so like... no." I tell him, and he blushes.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound fun. Shoo." Tadashi says, pushing me out of the room. I chuckle and poke my head in the door before he shuts it.

"Unless, of course, you would rather stay locked up in my room than go to prom." I taunt, and his face turns red before he swats my nose with his t-shirt that he had pulled off. I chuckle and hurry out before he happens to attack again.

10 minutes went by, and I went to check on him.

"Tadashi, everything alright?" I call, and I hear a huff of annoyance.

"I just... can't..." He mumbles, and I walk in to find him fully dressed in the corner of my room by the mirror, and he is fumbling with something.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and he turns around and smacks his hands to his sides.

"I can't get this stupid fucking thing on!" He snaps, and I smirk before stepping in and shutting the door.

He literally looks so fucking hot. The suit he picked out was black, just like mine, and literally fit him to a perfection. The suit was probably made for him, honestly. It showed off all his muscles, but wasn't too tight. I smile at him, but apparently, it had been menacingly because he flinched. He probably knew all the dirty thoughts running through my mind.

"You look..." I pause, stepping into his space and softly pressing him to my wall, "edible."

His blush takes over his face and I smile.

"You literally are perfect. I would rather stare at you all day than the stars themselves." I paused and let the rest of my thoughts slip, accidently. "God, I would like to stare at you for the rest of my life."

The minute the words left my mouth, I felt like my heart was going to come out of it. Did I just?

The blush covering my face was worse than ever. Tadashi starts chuckling.

"Jesus Christ, Kei, I never knew you could blush like that." He pauses. "If it means anything, you look ravishing tonight, and I would love to stare at you for the rest of my life, too."

We both just stand there blushing before I close the gap between us and I kiss him, slowly.

After a moment, we break apart, both panting and in love.

"Alright, now let's do something about this tie." I say, grabbing the small bowtie around his neck. He blushes, and won't look at me. I chuckle, but continue tying his orange bowtie, the same orange bowtie that I am wearing. He looks so cute as I work on the tie, and he looks anywhere but at me. "Tadashi, look at me."

He slowly looks up, and I smile.

"You are adorable." I whisper, and cup his cheek before kissing him once more, and walking out of the bedroom, knowing he would be behind me.

We walk into my living room, and my parents and Tadashi's parents are both standing in there, staring creepily at the two of us.

"Oh my, don't both of you look handsome?" My mom shouts, and snaps a picture of us walking next to each other. I narrow my eyes at her.

"You two are so cute! I'm so glad that you are finally together!" Tadashi's mom nearly sings, and he grips the back of his neck, right as my mom takes another picture.

"Mom, we are going with the entire team, don't get so excited." Tadashi says, and I chuckle softly.

"I don't care! You two are adorable. You even got the same ties." His mom says back, and Tadashi rolls his eyes.

"We are all wearing orange ties, mom." Tadashi argues, and she sighs.

"Like anyone else is gonna have the same exact ties as the two of you. Now, put your arms around each other!" She shouts as she pulls out a camera of her own. Tadashi and I just glance at each other, and flash after flash of our interaction occurs. I huff, and just grab Tadashi to run out of the house. We are all meeting at some restaurant before going to prom. Flashes followed us out the door and down the street. On the way to the restaurant, even though no cameras were around, I could still see the flashing lights, everywhere.

After meeting everyone and eating, we head to the dance, and Tadashi basically had to drag me inside.

The first thing that happens after we hand in our tickets was a photo carpet. But, we were here as a team, so everyone cramped into the picture, Tadashi dragging me in.

The flash goes off as Tadashi jumps on my back, and we look at the picture.

Hinata and Noya are lying in the front on the floor, pretending to "model," and Kageyama is standing above Hinata, just staring at him with a face that says "why do I love you." Asahi is kneeling next to Noya, smiling like a normal human. The next row has Tanaka and Ennoshita in the center, Tanaka making his normal intimidating face while Ennoshita looked impassive, and they both had their arms up and fingers pointed like there was a gun in their hands. Kinoshita and Narita were looking completely normal standing on either side of Ennoshita and Tanaka, and were just... smiling. In the back, the center was empty, and to the right side of the picture stands Daichi and Suga, smiling at each other like a married couple. Then, there was Tadashi and I. Tadashi was on my back with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on his face, arms wrapped around my neck, and legs around my middle. I am just standing there, arms under Tadashi's legs, and then there's my face. I am not frustrated; I am not smiling... but I am laughing. Like, very obviously cracked up. Tadashi pinches my side, and within seconds, everyone seems to notice me in the picture, and all heads turn to stare at me.

"Shut up." I snap, and they all chuckle and head off, all of us grabbing a copy of the picture. I snap mine into my wallet, and Tadashi does the same with his.

The first twenty minutes of the dance was really boring. Like, nobody was even dancing. After that twenty minutes, though, people began flocking to the floor like crows. Literally. I sit at a table with Tadashi, Kageyama, Hinata, Tanaka, Ennoshita, Asahi and Noya. Hinata suddenly jumps up and grabs Kageyama.

"Bakageyama! Come on!" Hinata shouts, and I almost laugh. The King, dancing? Tch.

He rolls his eyes.

"Hinata-boke. I don't thin-"

"Please..." Hinata pleads, leaning over and kissing Kageyama on his cheek and grabbing his hands. Kageyama instantly stands up and follows Hinata's excited figure onto the dance floor.

"Fucking whipped." I whisper to Tadashi, and he chuckles softly. I smile at him, and watch as Noya literally flies out of his seat.

"Asahi!" He shouts, and grabs Asahi by the back of his neck. "Come dance with me!"

Asahi tenses, and Noya just smiles.

"But, people everywhere, and like... what if-"

"Asahi, it'll be fun!" Noya shouts over the music.

"I can't dance-"

"Asahi, I'll teach you!" Noya yells more, and I roll my eyes. Asahi sighs and follows Noya onto the dance floor. I watch as Ennoshita glances at Tanaka. Tanaka just narrows his eyes.

"No." Tanaka says, and Ennoshita just looks down. Tanaka huffs before grabbing Ennoshita's wrist and dragging him to the dance floor more violently than a normal person would bring someone to the dance floor, but that was their relationship.

I watch as Hinata and Kageyama dance, and they aren't bad. Figures Shrimpy could dance, he's so bouncy and jumpy. What surprised me was that Kageyama could dance, really well actually. He wasn't amazing, but he seemed to know what he was doing. They were kind of a mesmerizing couple on the dance floor.

Asahi and Noya are a sight to see, but for different reasons. Noya was trying to teach Asahi step by step how to dance, some slow moves, and some fast-dancing moves. Asahi was horrible, and Noya looked like he could be a professional break dancer. Shocker. And it was even funnier to watch Asahi apologize for stepping on Noya's feet, and even once, Noya's fingers.

Tanaka and Ennoshita were both pretty bad at dancing, if I am being honest. The songs they were playing were slower, or poppier, and their moves were too jagged and rough. I bet they could dance to hip-hop very well.

I glance around and see the rest of the team dancing together.

Narita and Kinoshita were dancing next to each other, awkwardly. Neither were good dancers, and they had been wandering around since they got here.

Suga and Daichi were dancing together, and looked awesome. Both could dance, and you could tell they had danced together before. They'd had been dancing since they got here, although they started off dancing together towards a corner, until everyone got on the dance floor.

Dance by dance went by, and there was even a huge group dance of all the volleyball team, excluding me. Even Tadashi ran off to dance with them in the giant circle of volleyball players. I, for one, was not interested.

I watched Tadashi in awe that he was pretty good. Tadashi smiled at me as the group finished, and started to split apart. Another song came on, and I sighed.

Tadashi came walking towards me, bouncing on his heels, and I knew this wasn't good.

Everyone else was freaking out, dancing around and preparing to dance to the song. Tadashi stared me in the eyes, and reached out for me.

"No, no, NO!" I shouted as he pulled on my arms. The intro blared, and I talked over the first lyrics. "Tadashi, nobody knows we are together. I can't dance. There are too many people. Everyone will see us. I'm seriously a horrible dancer. I have anxiety in crowds. Please don't make me dance!"

I literally got through that whole thing in the beginning lyrics:

_Oh don't you dare look back_

_Just keep your eyes on me_

_I said your holding back_

Tadashi looks at me and screams "shut up and dance with me!"

I stood up and talked through the whole first verse, complaining about how everyone is going to know we are together, and how I don't like dancing, and the people were too close, and everything I could complain about.

_She took my arm_

_I don't know how it happened_

_We took the floor and she said_

By the time Tadashi started dancing, the chorus had already started. I can't do it.

_Oh don't you dare look back_

_Just keep your eyes on me_

_I said you're holding back_

_She said shut up and dance with me_

_This woman is my destiny_

_She said oh oh oh_

_Shut up and dance with me_

Tadashi, surprisingly, took control of the situation and moved behind me. At first, I was going to fight, but then he gripped my hips. Firm, too. I almost groaned, but he leaned forward and whispered into my ear.

"Let me help you dance." He whispered, and this time I did groan. He kept ahold of my hips and begin swaying them, a weird motion that I wasn't used to. After a few seconds of swaying, he stepped a little closer, our bodies not touching, and he helped me dance even more.

_A backless dress and some beat up sneaks,_

_My discothèque, Juliet teenage dream._

_I felt it in my chest as she looked at me._

_I knew we were bound to be together,_

_Bound to be together_

Now, I don't even know what is happening. Tadashi released my body and came to my front, but I kept dancing. Just a little, at least. Mostly just swaying and such. But, then I look at Tadashi.

God, he is mesmerizing. Other than the fact that he looks amazing in his suit, but like, god. He has the largest smile on his face and his hair is bouncing while he is dancing. His chuckle is too much to handle, and the way he can move is sinful. Like, I want to grab him and kiss him in front of all of these people.

Stay calm. Nobody knows about us, and they shouldn't.

_She took my arm,_

_I don't know how it happened._

_We took the floor and she said,_

_"Oh, don't you dare look back._

_Just keep your eyes on me."_

_I said, "You're holding back,"_

_She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"_

_This woman is my destiny_

_She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo,_

_Shut up and dance with me."_

We danced to the rest of the song, and I was officially stuck. I don't think I could have stopped looking at him if I tried. He is something else.

The next song came on, and it was a slow song. Don't ask me what it was, I was too lost in Tadashi to care. I watched as his face turned back to a blush, and he just stared at me. I smirk, and it makes him blush harder.

I know the singer started singing, but here we are, just standing here.

Then, I saw a look in his eyes, one that I'm not sure if it is good or bad. I narrow my eyes slightly, and watch his every move. His eyes dart around, and I automatically follow. Nearly every single couple in this room was dancing together... even the guys. Kageyama was gripping Hinata, Suga holding Daichi, Asahi having Noya, and Tanaka was storming out of the room, Ennoshita close behind him, while the rest went to sit down.

I look back at Tadashi, and he blushes again before taking a tentative step closer. His arms glide upward and fall around my neck, and his toes touch mine. I stare down into his eyes, and they are twinkling.

Stars.

Without hesitation, I bring my hands to his waist, and pull him closer to myself. He gasps slightly, but relaxes his head on my chest and shoulder area. My whole body is on fire, and immediately, nobody else is in the room. It is just Tadashi and I, swaying back and forth to the beat. He can probably feel the way my heart is pounding.

After several moments, I hear a faint whisper.

"Kei."

I look down, lips right on his temple.

"I love you." He whispers, and heat shoots through my veins. I sigh and kiss his temple.

'I love you too, Tadashi." I whisper, and his head slowly moves upward, and from there, everything is in slow motion. As his head tilts up, his starry eyes stare into mine, and I felt the world shift. When he blinks, my heart soars, he is so gorgeous.

My hand comes up on its own accord, and grips the back of his neck gently, my eyes flickering to look at his lips. Both of his hands tighten around my neck, and he pulls me down while standing up on his toes.

My eyes flutter shut, and his lips meet mine. My entire stomach breaks out into butterflies, and I groan into the kiss softly. He moans quietly in response, and I know both of us can feel the electricity between the two of us. I bring the other hand up and cup his cheeks, drawing him in tightly, while stepping even closer. My heart pounds in my ears while I finally break the kiss, allowing my eyes to open again. His eyes are still shut, blissfully, and I take a moment to stare. He is literally frozen in space, and he is positively glowing.

"Tadashi," I whisper, and his eyes slowly flicker open, fixating on mine. "I swear to god I will spend the rest of my life doing that."

He stares at me for a moment before chuckling. I narrow my eyes.

"I'm am fine with that." He says, kissing my lips lightly, and quickly. He gets back into a dancing stance, and I finally look around. The whole volleyball team is staring at us, and a few other couples around us. I narrow my eyes at all of them before barking at them.

"What the fuck are you guys looking at." I snap, and everyone clings to their partners and goes back to dancing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi's parents aren't home  
> -and-  
> ( ° ʖ °)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Earned It by The Weeknd

Long story short, we left the dance early to head home. Home, as in Tadashi's home. Home, as in, Tadashi's home that is empty because his parent's left to visit in a few towns over for the weekend. The minute we entered the house, I had Tadashi pinned against the door. My lips met his with a burning passion, and he kissed back just as excitedly.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together, and every ounce of control was slowly leaving my body.

The rest of the night at the dance, an electrical charge constantly surrounded us, pulling us together. I couldn't take it any longer.

My tongue slipped into his mouth, and he let me have control. I think he wanted me to be in control. I explored his mouth, and loved the small whimpering noises released from him. After getting caught up in our make out session, I found myself on his bed. He was straddling my hips, and I was lying on my back.

Well this is new.

He grinded against me once, and I felt myself arch into his body. He bit his lip, and grabbed the lapel of my jacket before pulling me up.

"Off. Now." He demands, and I shiver. I quickly unbutton my jacket and toss it, followed by my button up, until I am completely shirtless. I don't let him remain clothed, though. Instantly, I pull his off faster than I could get my own off and nibbled his neck.

He found my lips again and began kissing them, before assaulting my neck with kisses.

Trailing kisses across my jawline, he soon moved down my carotid artery, tongue jutted out to apply just enough pressure. He moved back up, but moved over slightly and quickly found my pulse. His tongue lapped around it, causing me to moan, and I felt his lips smile against my skin.

"Tadashi." I whisper, and he takes that as encouragement. He moved down my neck, nibbling and licking and sucking, and I know he left some marks. He enjoys leaving a hickey or two, I'm assuming so everyone knows I am taken. Next thing I know, he has moved to my chest and is nearing my nipples.

Oh god, that's something we haven't-

"Ahh!" I cry out as he lightly nibbles on my nipple. He pushes my stomach down by my abs as he swirls his tongue around it. Why does this feel so good?

He sucks softly, and brings the skin between his teeth, pulling away. I groan again, covering my mouth. Giving the same attention to my other side, I just pull my lip between my teeth to prevent myself from losing it. It keeps me grounded.

Next thing I know, he is kissing my stomach area, smiling every time my body tenses. He's hard to handle when he is so sexy, holy shit.

His tongue makes its way to the bottom of my stomach, as in, following the line of my pants. My hips immediately buck up, and he smiles up at me.

"You like that?" He asks, voice husky, and I nearly lose it. Instead, I nod, and watch as he slowly sticks his tongue out, staring into my eyes, and follows my pant line. My body quivers, and he looks up before biting his lip.

He seems to be thinking.

He stares into my eyes while bringing his hand up slowly, and I wonder what he is going to do. Slowly, he drops his hands onto my waistline, and prods at the button. I flush, knowing that he wants my pants off, but like, am I ready for that?

By the time I even figure out if I'm ready, I feel the familiar pop of the button, and I glance down at Tadashi and decide. Yes, I can at least take off my pants. Not much more.

My pants come off, and my socks with it, because that would be weird. We toss them on the floor, and Tadashi glances at me, tilting his head. I smile and he immediately removes his own pants.

God, I can see his bulge. My mouth starts watering.

He climbs back on me, straddling my waist, and I groan. I can actually feel him for once. I can feel the way we press together, and it is driving me insane. He goes to lean forward, and his hips shift a little bit, and god, that feels good. Too good. I shouldn't let this happen, but-

I buck my own hips lightly, and he moans, lewdly. His body hunches forward, and his hands land on my chest to hold him up. Mistake. Our dicks are pressed perfectly together now, and nothing has ever felt this good.

"F-fuck." I stutter, and see his eyes are closed tightly, and his mouth is wide open. "T-tadashi."

He only manages a squeak, which makes my dick twitch, and he feels it. He moans again, and bucks his hips lightly.

"K-Kei!" He cries out, and I grip his hips. "P-please."

I don't even know if he knew what he was begging for, but our bodies did. I move my hips a little, again, and he groans. Shit, I don't know how much of this I can take.

I glance into his face and see his eyes screwed shut and his lip between his teeth. When I move again, he cries out, and I smile. He looks so good when his mouth drops open into a moan.

Immediately I grab the back of his head and crash his lips to mine, and keep moving my hips. He whimpers into the kiss, and I pull his lips between my teeth to nibble. The hand that isn't gripping the back of his head is holding his waist, thumb playing under the waistline of his boxers. Eventually, he begins rocking his hips.

"K-Kei," he whimpers out, and I stop kissing him and pull away enough to look into his face. "I n-need more."

I groan and he begins pulling away and sliding down my body. I blink a few times, not quite sure what he is going to do. He keeps moving until his body is in-between my legs, and his chest lying on my thighs. I tilt my head at him, and he just smirks with this crude look in his eyes. His hand comes up and cups my dick, and immediately my back arches up and a groan leaves my lips.

"Fuck." I snap out, and he chuckles.

"Is this too much, Kei?" He says seductively, and I have to bite my lips from groaning yet again.

"N-no." I somehow make out. My eyes are squeezed shut, everything feeling too good. That is, until I felt warmth against my dick, through my underwear. I sit forward and look, to see Tadashi leaving a trail of kisses, and I nearly lose it right then and there. God, he looks too good. He looks up at me, smiling, before tugging at my boxers. I nod once, and his eyes sparkle as he grabs the hemline and begins pulling them down.

This is too embarrassing.

I can't-

Then, his lips meet the tip, and all thoughts were thrown out. Nothing except for Tadashi filled my senses.

"A-ah!" I cry out, and my hands go down and tangle in his hair. He takes that as his go, and I feel him swirl around the tip a few times before completely bringing me into his mouth. "Shit!"

"T-Tadashi... please." I beg, and I feel him smile before something changes. His mouth seems just that much warmer, the pressure around my dick more intense, and my whole body is practically floating. His tongue runs along the bottom, pressing softly against the vein. I cry out again, and he begins pulling back...

Only to push right back down, bringing me entirely into his mouth. Holy shit, how can he even do that? I swear I have to be down his throat...

He pulls me completely out with a gigantic smile.

"H-holy shit, Tadashi." I moan, and he grazes his teeth against the tip. His tongue goes into the slit, and he groans this time.

"God, Kei, you taste addicting." He whispers, and I feel my eyes bulge. He's fucking hot... too fucking hot oh my god.

After spending nearly too much time licking, sucking, bobbing, and so on, I pull his mouth off me and flip us over.

"That's enough, Tadashi," I whisper, voice husky. He pants and I immediately rip off his boxers. "My turn."

I glide down his body and stare at his dick, not sure how to even start.

Just think about what felt good.

I immediately lean forward and lick the precum off his tip, and he shivers.

"K-Kei!" He moans out, and I smile before just bringing the tip into my mouth. His breath catches, and I swirl my tongue around it. His hips buck up, and I bring my hand up to hold them down. I let his dick fall out of my mouth before licking up the front, along the vein that lies there, pulsing, and his hands come down to tangle into my hair. I come back to the tip, and slowly move downward, bringing him into my mouth.

The precum that I taste isn't that great tasting, but, it's Tadashi and I feel like I could become addicted. It's bitter and salty, and all around bad, but I can't help but like it.

I get back as far as I can before I feel like I might gag. I hollow my cheeks, and slowly begin to bob my head.

"Oh my God!" Tadashi cries out, and I smile around his member. I keep bobbing, allowing my tongue to scrape along, too. I pull out completely, and look into his eyes.

"Do you have no fucking gag reflex?" I mumble, and he chuckles. Seriously, I can't go very far without nearly gagging, and he can literally take me in fully, and I am bigger than him! What the fuck?

"I don't think I do." He mumbles, and I immediately bring him back into my mouth. God, I love him.

I play some more, before pulling back and looking at him. He smiles and I think a silent conversation occurred just then. He chuckles before nodding.

"I-I don't know how-" I mumble out and he pulls me eye level with him.

"I have some lube in my drawer, pull it out." He whispers. I nod and lean over, finding the lube quickly. He nods before continuing. "You have to, uh, prep me..."

"I know what to do there." I whisper. I might have done some research, and, yeah.

I put plenty on my fingers before swirling it around, warming it as much as I can. He moves down slightly, and I move between his legs.

"Ready?" I say, barely above a whisper. He nods again, and I bring my finger forward and begin moving around the ring of muscle. His back arches slightly, and I smile. At least he is ready, too. I carefully insert my middle finger, and he instantly groans.

"Hell, your finger is long." He grumbles, and I chuckle.

"Sorry?" I say, more as a question. He smirks.

"I'm not exactly complaining." He responds, and I begin pumping my finger. "Holy shit."

I smile, and continue moving my finger while beginning to kiss him. I can tell when something feels good because his eyes scrunch a little. After a few moments, I carefully play at the ring with a second finger, before pushing it in slightly when I don't hear a complaint. The second I push in, his body curls up slightly.

"Sorry-"

"It's okay, I just... I've never..." He trails off with mumbles and I slow my moving to listen.

"You've never, what?" I ask him, and he flushes.

"Kageyama and I didn't have sex..." He trails off, and I feel my jaw fall open. Something overcame me, and I began pumping in and out quickly, before adding a third finger, making Tadashi gasp. "Aa-ahhh!"

"S-sorry." I whisper, and he smiles. That's my sign that its good. I sigh in relief and keep pumping in and out, and his squirms and squeals are driving me nuts. He's loosened up, and I think he's gotta be close to being ready. "R-ready?"

"Please." He begs, whimpering, and I shiver.

I remove my fingers, and carefully prepare myself with lube. I don't want to hurt him, at all.

Especially since we are both virgins.

A delicious tingle makes its way up my spine, and I sigh. I grab his hips softly, and pull him downward a little and spread his legs. God, he is too perfect.

I carefully lean forward, and line my length up with his hole, and push the tip against the muscular rim.

"Are you sure?" I ask, needing one more reassurance.

"Kei." He whispers, and I stare into his eyes. "Please."

I continue staring into his eyes as I slowly push past the rim, entering slightly.

"M-more, Kei." He whispers, and I groan before sliding in, slowly. Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of gliding into Tadashi.

"F-Fuck." I moan out, and move forward until my hips are flush against him. I stop once fully in and realize at some point, my eyes shut. So, I open them to see Tadashi beneath me, red-faced and in slight pain. "Shit, are you okay?"

"J-just give m-me a se-second." He stutters, and I sigh. I lean forward and capture his lips in mine for a soft kiss, and he whimpers against my lips. I hear a soft "ow," and I grip his hips to keep him still. I don't want to move him yet at all. I deepen the kiss and allow my tongue to slip out, into his mouth. He groans now, and I can feel him carefully relaxing. I feel him nod slightly, so keeping ahold of his hips and his mouth attached to mine, I slowly move out, allowing myself to nearly slip completely out, before gently pushing back in. I swear at that exact moment, I saw stars. "K-KEI!"

"Ah, Tadashi, ah," I mumble incoherently against his lips. He moans out, and I do the same motion, again. His legs shiver this time, and I can't help but smile. This is too good.

I wiggle my hips, pushed to the hilt, hearing him whimper. I carefully pull back, and push back in.

"More, Kei, I need more!" He cries out, and I sigh. I'm scared to hurt him. I pull back a little faster, pushing in faster but just as gently. "Fuck, you won't hurt me."

I kiss him as I pull back roughly before pushing back in roughly. Not nearly as rough as I could be, but definitely more rough that before. He squeaks out, and I felt heat fill my body. I continue that pace, not too fast, but definitely rougher.

"Kei." He whispers, reaching up and grabbing my face. "Please, I can take more."

So, on command, I pick up the pace, pushing in and out, head spinning in ecstasy.

"Tadashi!" I cry out, then pant. He moans loudly before I feel his arch back into mine, and his body quivers. "What was that?"

"I don't know, but do it again!" He demands, and I gladly oblige. I push forward, aiming for the same spot, "Kei!"

His back arches and his abs press into mine, making me groan, embarrassingly. I must be hitting his prostate. I kiss him, and he nearly bites my lips hard enough to make it bleed when I hit the spot again. He screams out, and I could nearly come from the noise he makes.

I keep hitting the spot, repeatedly, and I know we are both close. I grab his left leg, and put it over my right shoulder, and push into the same spot, at a new angle.

"Fuck! Kei! Harder!" He cries out, and I push harder. "Fuck!"

I shiver in delight, and feel myself coming close.

"Tadashi, I-I'm close." I mumble. The heat pooling in my stomach is becoming too intense. I can't hold on much longer.

"Me too, Kei..." He whispers, before screaming when I smash in again. "Fuck me, please!"

I bring my left hand around and grip his leaking member, and his hips jut upward. I begin pumping him, bringing him closer with me. He hasn't stopped whimpering, and nothing is sexier than seeing him whimpering, biting his lip and flushed, head to toe.

"A-ah! Kei! I'm gonna-" Before Tadashi can speak, I feel his dick twitch before shooting cum allover our stomachs and my hand, and I continue pumping through his orgasm. He is clamping around me, bringing me over the edge, and I spill inside of him.

The world goes white and my whole body screams, tingles erupting throughout. I feel lightheaded, and my insides are spasming.

"Tadashi! Fuck!" I yell, and I'm sure the neighbors could hear. I continue pumping a few times before letting myself collapse on top of him, still inside and his come sticking us together.

I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually I feel the hand lightly brushing through my hair.

"Tadashi." I whisper, heart pounding, and stomach filled with butterflies. "I love you so much."

He whimpers before smiling.

"I love you too. More than you can imagine." He says back, with his hair in a mess and eyes hooded. I lean up and capture his lips in mine, and before I know it, our kisses are picking up, and I can tell I am getting hard again.

His tongue invades my mouth as he takes over, and I let him. He explores and all I can do is lay with him straddling my hips, a total mess.

Next thing I know, he is riding me into tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi has a special request  
> -and-  
> Tsukishima does not like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? Lights Down Low by Bei Maejor.

"Tadashi. No." I respond, and he sighs.

"Sorry, Kei." He whispers, stepping away and slightly pouting. I remember when Tadashi was never actually sorry and was okay with everything. Now, though, he has learned the art of pouting and getting his way.

"It's not going to work this time, Tadashi. You are not going anywhere near my..." I trail off, knowing he knows what I mean. He sighs, and drops his head down. "It's weird."

"But, like, Kei." He starts, huffing. "You are so perfect and like, I want to just try it. Please?"

"I said no. You are smaller than me." I defend, and he huffs in annoyance. "Plus, you are too gentle."

"You weren't thinking that the other night when we-"

"Tadashi." I cut him off, not wanting to hear him say the words. We just started having sex a few weeks ago, but the blowjob he gave and the way he rode on me the other night was far less than gentle. I swear he is a sex machine, but like, in a good way.

"But, Kei! Just once, and if you don't like it, then we won't do it again. Just give a guy a chance!" He pleads, grabbing my arm. I roll my eyes and ignore him.

I shouldn't have done that.

He steps closer, his lips fanning the nape of my neck as his hand slides down my back, and into my pants, under my boxers. His fingers cup my ass gently, where he softly rubs.

"You know you want to try to be dominated, at least once, Kei." He whispers against my neck, voice deep and dominant, lips brushing, and I control the shiver.

"Says who?" I respond, keeping my voice level, even though he turns me on like crazy. His fingers curl downward more, sliding into the zone behind my balls and sliding upward. I shiver before closing my eyes.

"You don't have to say it, Kei." He whispers more. "You know you want me in that sweet ass."

I choke, and feel his fingers too close to my asshole for comfort.

"D-don't." I respond, and he chuckles.

"See! Even that dirty talk gets you flustered. Come on, Kei!" His voice returns to normal, and I sigh in relief as his hand comes out of my pants. He steps back and stares at me.

"Not gonna happen!" I shout, and he smiles.

~~~~~~

"Just do it, Tadashi." I demand, as he plays with my rim carefully. He hasn't inserted even one finger yet, and it's getting awkward.

"I'm taking my time. I may not get this chance again." He whispers back to me, before pressing one finger in, making me groan.

"Weird. Don't like." I say, too distracted by the weird feeling to form sentences. He chuckles before pumping in and out.

"Now you know how I feel." He tells me, before something in him shifts. His voice lowered and sexy, he starts talking again. "Now, be a good boy for me, Kei."

I huff, and roll my eyes, letting him pump in and out. He keeps pumping before adding a second finger next to the first.

"Shit," I mumble, not liking this feeling, "I thought you said this felt good?"

"Kei." He snaps slightly. "Just relax and it will feel good."

He keeps moving his fingers and I keep my eyes shut tightly. This is gross. He soon adds a third finger.

"Tadashi." I start, irritated. It not only hurts but I don't like the feeling. "This suck-"

Just then, I let out a loud moan, uncovered, because I was talking. I don't know what he did, but it felt... too good.

"Bingo." He says, curling his fingers into the same spot again. I moan out loudly, unsure how to even cover my moan. "Feel good?"

He pushes into that spot again before I whimper and nod slowly. I can feel my cheeks heat up, and as much as I like it, having Tadashi's fingers inside me still feels awkward.

"Are you about ready?" He asks, and I shrug, so he pulls his fingers out and turns me over. I lie on my back and glare at him. "Don't. Glare. At. Me."

He sounded so intimidating, and it was fucking hot. Tadashi the Dom?

He leans forward and presses his lips against mine hungrily, instead of the more submissive kisses he usually gives me. He is in complete control, and I let him.

Suddenly, I feel his tip at my entrance and I shiver.

"Tadashi I-" I start, but gasp when he pushes in, gently, but smoothly. He pushes forward until he is buried completely inside of me. "T-Tadashi."

He kisses me in response, before leaning back only a little to whisper to my lips.

"You feel better than I could have ever imagined. Good boy, Kei." He whispers, and I whimper. "I'm going to move."

The minute he pulls back, and I nearly cry out. He pulls back until he is almost out, before pushing back in.

"F-fuck, Kei." He mumbles, and I blink up into beautiful brown eyes. "Ahh."

He continues his slow pace, moving in and out, and it starts to feel quite amazing.

"Tadashi, faster." I whisper, and he nods. He carefully begins pushing in and out of me, faster, and I sigh. God, it feels good. "Holy shit."

"Good?" He asks, and I nod. "You're doing great."

He begins picking up the pace again, and my legs wrap around his waist tightly as he roughly slams into me. My head is thrown back and he begins kissing my neck, licking and biting. He grips his nails into my hips hard, and I feel them break the skin.

"Fuck!" I shout, and it seems to encourage him. He pushes harder and faster, until the headboard is smacking the wall repeatedly, and I am screaming with every thrust. He hits my prostate, and I nearly black out, seeing sparkles. "Tadashi!"

He smiles against my skin before leaning up and pressing kisses to my lips, panting. He's about as close as I am.

He hits that spot repeatedly, and I can't stop the yelling. Some were yells of his name, some orders, and some incoherent words.

"I'm c-close." I mumble against his lips, and he smiles. "I need m-more!"

He pushes my legs up closer to my chest and slams in more, and its deeper this way. A few more thrusts, and my visions goes splotchy as I feel my own come shoot onto my chest, and Tadashi kissing me hard. He releases my lips, right before I feel a heat explode inside my body, causing my world to turn and he comes to a stop inside of me.

"Fuck, Kei, I love you so much." He whispers, kissing me again, and curling up against me. He is back to his normal, timid, submissive self, and he curls into my shoulder.

"I love you." I whisper back, kissing his temple before relaxing for a while.

How was I ever this lucky? I went from a stranger, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend, to his lover, and I couldn't be happier. He gave me everything I could ever want and more. As much as I hate the boys that bullied Tadashi, and hate the situation, I'm sort of glad, because I might not have met Tadashi had I not helped him that day, and he wouldn't be here with me, right here, right now. After all of these years of games, toys, friendships, and fights, I am the one he chooses. I am the one he loves.

I feel like the luckiest man alive.

I blink and bring myself back to reality, glancing at the slightly snoring figure beside me, and kiss his temple.

"Yamaguchi Tadashi, I don't care what I have to do, but you will forever be my everything." I whisper, kissing his temple, before waking him up to take a shower.

Together.

Standing next to each other in the small shower, I watch as Tadashi washes his hair, bubbles filling the green/black hair. I had been working on rinsing my own, but was too distracted by the beauty in front of me.

"Kei, can I rinse?" He asked, and I step out of the way and guide him under the shower head. He smiles slightly when the hot water hits his skin, and I smile and feel my dick twitch as the water cascades down his muscles, licking his abs.

"Fuck." I whisper, and he finishes rinsing his hair before swiping water over his face and opening his eyes.

"What?" He asks, confused, and I smile deviously. "K-"

I slam him quickly against the shower, and press my lips to his as water smacks the side of my head and glide across our bodies. He pants as he opens his mouth and I smile at him.

"You are beautiful." I whisper before I kiss him again, roughly and press myself harder to his, loving the feeling of our wet bodies pressed together.

After a few heated kisses, I lose control. I quickly grip his thighs and lift his bodies, and he immediately wraps around my body. My dick presses harshly to his ass, and I shiver. I release his right hand, and bring his hands up above his head in my one right hand and hold them there, and he shivers.

I bite at his bottom lip and he gasps, allowing me to slip my tongue in, and he groans, loud.

"K-Kei!" He cries out, and I know he wants what I want. I align my hardened member with his hole and slowly press into his body, filling him to the brim, a moaning mess. He wiggles to increase the friction, but I drop his hands again to grip his hips fully. He whimpers and pouts, and I bite his pouted lip. "Ow."

I chuckle and kiss his lower lip, running my tongue along it and he smirks. That's when I begin moving, pushing into his tight heat, fast and hard. He cries out, and his arms wrap around my neck and he grips the back of my head. I keep pushing into him and he is a moaning mess.

"Tadashi." I whisper against his lips, and keep thrusting, stopping my speech to groan. "We can do that again sometime."

Knowing what I am talking about, he moans and arches his back off the hot shower wall, into my body. He moans, and his head smacks the wall harder than I like. That's when he wiggles his hips on mine, and I accept it, needing more.

I need more of Tadashi.

I pound into him full-force, and he is clawing at my back.

"You are scratching me." I groan out, sweat sticking us together. He scratches more, chuckling.

"I know." He whispers, sucking my neck, before smiling against the skin.

I swear he enjoys leaving marks more than I do.

I slam into him repeatedly, before I feel the familiar building of my orgasm, and I feel Tadashi twitching around my member, so he's so close. So close. I kiss his lips roughly, moan exiting my mouth, and that's his undoing, as he comes up on our chests.

I gasp in shock, and he licks my tongue while riding out his orgasm, and that is my own undoing, and I spill inside his beautiful body, legs shivering. After coming to, I feel Tadashi rubbing my cheek and find him staring at me in awe.

"Damn." He whispers, kisses me and removes himself from my member and sliding to the floor. "Let's shower then go to bed."

In silence, he washes my body with soap, and I, in turn, wash him. After drying, we both fall onto the bed, passing out naked and cuddled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are drunk  
> -and-  
> This is the last chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to listen to? All of Me by John Legend.

_For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened - then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk._

I continued reading a few lines from The Great Gatsby, lost in the world of reading.

I was sitting on the couch in my living room, a book in my right hand as I read it. I've read the book a few times in my life, but it seems to get better and better every single time.

I carefully crack my neck subconsciously as I keep reading, before sitting the book on the ledge of the couch and reaching to the stand beside me for my glass. Today's flavor was a simple Jack and Coke, stronger than it probably should have been. But, that's what happens when you've already had a few glasses, it seems you automatically make it stronger.

After a long sip of my drink, I sit it back down, head slightly dizzying, before grabbing my book.

Soft music plays in the background, and I just relax into my seat. Between the music and the alcohol, I don't think I could relax much more.

My relaxation stops when I feel something tap my nose.

I look down quickly, dropping my book onto my knee. The finger is still moving from my face that poked me, and I narrow my eyes.

"Keeeeiiiiiii," Tadashi whined, staring up at me. "You said you wouullllldddd readddd one chapter. It's beeeen like... a million!" He pauses, "or maybe a million and one!"

I pinch my nose before rolling my eyes.

"I literally have read like... ten paragraphs Tadashi." I respond, and he gasps.

"Don't lie to meeeee!" Tadashi whines again, and I chuckle.

"See? That's where I started, and that's where I am now," I explained gently, like to a kid. Tadashi might as well be a kid when he's wasted.

"Wow!" He calls out, and sits up so that his head isn't rested in my lap.

"But, I guess I won't read anymore." I respond. He is so adorable like this. I lean over towards him and place my lips on his. He smiles into the kiss and my heart shakes.

"Ohhh my god, remember back when we first kissed, Keiiii!?" He yells out, and I chuckle.

"Of course I do." I respond, not sure I want to remember those days.

"You were soooo cute! It was like, so awkward and neither of us were great kissers but like, nothing could have ever felt better!" He yelled, shifting to sit in my lap. "Kei, I always wanted to kiss you! I remember even when we first met when we were in middle school, I wanted to kiss you!"

"Is that so?" I asked, not minding hearing him ramble on and on.

"Yessss! I was sooo afraid you didn't love me back, though. I didn't think you would even be gay!" He pauses. "I was really fucking wrong."

"Hey!" I say, trying not to laugh.

"What? I am just sayinnngggg! Ugh, then I dated Tobio. I should have known better, Shouyou was always going to be his love, but I was blind. Just like I was too blind to see you loved me!" He paused, then snorted with a chuckle. "We were both young and dumb, then, Kei."

"Dude, you asked me about dating Tobio right when I was going to tell you I loved you. Literally we said each other's names at the same time then I let you go first, only to have you break my heart. I put a hole in my wall the next night when you called to tell me the two of you were dating." I inform him. "That was the night Aki and I became close."

"No way!" He cried out, sobering a little. "Youuu put a hole in the walllll!"

He pauses, and I lift my eyebrow.

"That is hot." He says, and I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry about that. Mayybbeeee if you had told meeee, we would have been together sooner."

"Eh, what matters is that you are here with me now." I tell him, leaning over to kiss his lips, before muttering against them, "I love you so much."

He giggles before kissing me again.

"I love you too, Kei."

After a few kisses, he pulls away.

"I'm just glad we can all hang out. I mean, when they live four houses from us, it's hard not too!" He exclaims. "I'm just glad they are engaged. Sure, they can't get married yet, but you know, it might happen one day."

"Yeah, maybe." I tell him, and sigh. "I'm surprised they didn't try to butt into tonight."

"Nah, they know better." He responds, "but, since we are alone..."

He trails off before straddling my lap, and I drop my head against the back of the couch. He still affects me like he did from the beginning.

His lips land on mine, hungrily, and I groan out. He smiles, and brings my lower lips into his mouth, sucking, before biting and pulling off. I wet my lips quickly, but his lips land over mine again before I am done.

"I got it." He whispers huskily, and I groan, again. God, how can he still do this to me?

As he kisses me senseless, he begins moving his hips around, effectively rubbing our erections together and driving me insane. It's hard to even believe how much sexier he has gotten, he knows how to push my buttons. His lips leave mine, before planting firmly against my neck.

"Tadashi, please..." I beg, and he whimpers as he kisses my neck. The whimper rings against my neck, and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning. He continues sucking, nibbling, and kissing in all of the right spots.

He knows my body better than anyone ever will.

Soon enough, he pulls my shirt over my head, and in turn, I pull his off. It's only fair if both of us are shirtless, right?

The alcohol is clouding my thoughts, almost as much as Tadashi is. He seems to have that effect on me, no matter how long we have been together. It's... almost scary, actually. The amount of control that this man has over my body...

His back arches, successfully pressing our torsos together, and I can't hold back my moan. The burst of tingles that blooms from my chest, to every inch of my body nearly aches.

He smiles as he kisses my lips, and before I know it, he slides down my body, kneeling onto the floor between my legs.

"Tadashi..." I warn, and he smiles this wicked smile. Shit.

"Hmmm, I wonder what I should do about this?" He asks, pointing at my erection before stroking it. I moan, and throw my head back, biting into my lip in hopes to lessen the sound. I hate moaning. But, before I could think any further, he's sliding my pants down my legs. "I think I've got a pretty good idea."

I don't know how he went from wasted Tadashi to slightly-less-wasted-but-horny Tadashi, but it happened. He ripped my boxers down before kissing my length, quickly taking me into his mouth. My fingers tangle into his hair as I sigh, still not used to the warmth and skill of his mouth. My hips buck slightly, and I feel him smile slightly around me.

He pulls off with a pop before licking the entire length.

"T-tadashi." I moan out, and he bites his lip. "Fuck."

He sucks the head for a moment before sliding me into his mouth again, and I feel lightheaded.

BARK. BARK.

My body instantly jerks as I throw my head back, smacking the couch. Then, the sound of nails scraping and tapping across our hardwood floor takes up the room, and Tadashi quickly pulls off of me.

Before he can move, a figure dives on top of him, licking his face as Tadashi lies on the ground.

"Milo, no!" I yell out, seeing the 80-pound white german shepherd giving more kisses to Tadashi than I had been. "Milo!"

Milo jumps off of Tadashi, and spots me. I swear, even though he is a dog, he gave me the most mischievous look ever, before jumping from the ground on Tadashi directly onto me, on the couch.

"Shit," I mumble, as he lands next to me. I quickly pull my boxers up and brace myself.

Milo quickly licks my left cheek, and steps onto my lap.

"Dude, you weigh 80-pounds, you are not a lap dog." I groan out as his foot stomps onto my stomach. I feel the slobber covering my face.

BARK.

I feel the couch sink next to me, and I chuckle.

"Milo, can you relax?" Tadashi coaxes, and Milo instantly sits down, on my lap, but at least he's not licking me nor is he hurting me. "Good boy."

"I thought you said he fell asleep in the kitchen?" I asked, and Tadashi shrugged.

"We probably made too much noise." Tadashi winks at me before patting Milo on the head, earning a whimper of appreciation from Milo. "I bet he's hungry."

I nod, and we make our way to the kitchen, me pulling my jeans up, and Milo follows. Tadashi goes into the cupboard, and grabs a cup full of food before dumping it into the bowl labeled "Milo."

"You know, you were so funny back then." I say to Tadashi, while staring at the counter deep in thought.

"How so, Kei?" He answers, walking towards me and leaning onto my chest.

"You know, when you asked me if I ever loved someone, I played it off while saying that I loved someone once, and I said that I did, but didn't tell them in time. You were like, 'oh no, they didn't deserve you, anyone I notice should feel lucky, blah blah blah.'" I tell him, chuckling.

"Oh my god, I did? How did I not catch on?" He asks, obviously not remembering.

"Seriously? You don't remember this?" I ask, and he shakes his head no. "Oh my god, you sat there and told me how awesome I was, and how I was sweet and funny and all of these other lies. You said, and I quote, 'They are stupid for not loving you back, because they say that there is nothing better than being loved by someone who hates people, so if you paid attention to someone, they should feel so special and never let you go!' Do you remember when we had this discussion?"

"No, I already told you no." He responded, grabbing himself a beer from the fridge.

"It was the night you told me you liked Tobio. I was... upset, and decided to shower. So, you seemed to think I was taking too long and ran into the bathroom and got into the shower with me." I tell him, and his face lights up.

"Oh my god, now I remember! I got to stare at you naked, although I didn't take advantage of the situation. You were so upset! Oh my god, you were referring to me then?" He asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"You can even ask that? Of course. Who else would I refer too? That night I was going to tell you I loved you, until you told me you liked Tobio, and then it went to shit. Then you slept with me." I tell him, and he looked horrified.

"Seriously, I feel awful I was so fucking stupid. How couldn't I tell, and better yet, how could I be so naïve when you told me that you loved someone but was too late. You literally explained it to me. Shit." He paused. "We could have gotten together earlier if I had realized. I remember sleeping in bed with you though."

"Why did you do it?"

"I couldn't let you sleep alone when you were upset. Plus, I wanted a chance before I got a boyfriend to sleep next to you, curled up to you. I always wanted too, but I was afraid to. It gave me an excuse." He paused. "Why did you sleep with me the night Tobio and I broke up?"

"Uhhh..." I paused. "Pretty much the same reason. I knew you needed me and I also wanted an excuse to hold you again."

"Awwwww." Tadashi drawls out, and I roll my eyes. "Kei, you are cute."

"Shut up, Tadashi." I tell him, and he smiles so large I have to laugh.

Adorable.

"Sorry, Kei." He whispered, and we walked hand in hand into the living room. We curled into the couch, holding each other, while Milo sat at our feet.

Tadashi brings up his left hand and looks at it, focusing deeply.

I smile at the ring on his left hand and bring my left hand up, caging him to my body, and place my hand over his, intertwining our fingers. Here, you can really see the matching rings on our fingers, and Tadashi actually blushes.

"I love you, Tadashi," I whisper, kissing his cheek and dreaming about a day we can take our engagement into marriage.

"I love you too, Kei." He pauses. "Happy ten-year anniversary."

I place my lips on his, and this time, the dog doesn't interrupt us.

Only because we locked the door to our bedroom for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos, Comment, Subscribe, and ENJOY!!!  
> ~Blue


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